Write Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender? What is your view? Explain your position.
Sample Response
It is generally believed that in some cases, males and females have difference ability, skill weakness, limitations and natural talents, especially in a workplace. I am of the belief that they should be distinguished for certain work fields. Assigning the right person in the right place would enhance performance and increase the profit and productivity. I would explain two examples to reinforce my view. Initially, women tend to be more patient in teaching toddlers and adolescences than men. In addition, women better understand what children want and like. Moreover, it is common that woman teachers are higher in number than male teachers in nursery and primary schools. This strength could be best used if women have had more opportunities in teaching children, nursery or any fields that relate to the teaching and interacting with the toddler. Likewise, female are naturally caring and nursing is a great profession for them. It is not uncommon that we can see more female nurses in hospitals that their male counterparts. So from this regards, I agree that some professions are more suitable for female whereas others are to men. Providing that gender base priority in some professions is not a bad idea at all. Another example is male’s natural strength. On an average, men are physically stronger than women. For example, generally labours are mostly males as this job requires hard work and physical strength. The work fields that require more physical strength could be reserved for male employees. Likewise in many jobs employees need to work at night and work publicly which might be inconvenient for female employees in many countries. For such jobs, males should be given priority, I believe. Lastly, men tend to use their logic first but women use their feeling first. Meanwhile, men like extreme challenges than women. Mining in offshore is one of the professions that need logic, bravery, and physical strength at the same time. Men are suitable for doing this job because not only for those requirements but also the commitment to work overtime. To sum up, it is right to exclude men or women in certain work fields. People work based on their passion and ability. Educational background, enthusiasm, skill, talent and suitability can increase the performance and some jobs could be more suitable for male while others for female.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct word form Original: difference ability Suggested revision: different abilities Why it matters: An adjective and a plural noun are required in this list.
- 2. Use plural noun phrase Original: skill weakness Suggested revision: weaknesses in skills Why it matters: The list requires a grammatical plural noun phrase.
- 3. Use general setting Original: a Suggested revision: the Why it matters: “The workplace” is the conventional phrase for employment contexts generally.
- 4. Clarify job allocation Original: distinguished for certain work fields Suggested revision: assigned to different fields Why it matters: “Distinguished” does not express allocating people to types of work.
- 5. Use general plural Original: increase the profit Suggested revision: increase profits Why it matters: The plural form is natural when discussing business results generally.
- 6. Use future form Original: would Suggested revision: will Why it matters: The writer is announcing what the essay will do, so “will” is appropriate.
- 7. Use person noun Original: adolescences Suggested revision: adolescents Why it matters: “Adolescents” refers to young people; “adolescence” is a life stage.
- 8. Correct adverb position Original: women better understand Suggested revision: women understand better Why it matters: The comparative adverb normally follows the verb in this clause.
- 9. Use correct modifier Original: woman Suggested revision: female Why it matters: “Female” is the appropriate adjective modifying “teachers.”
- 10. Use natural comparison Original: higher in number than Suggested revision: more numerous than Why it matters: The replacement makes the comparison concise and idiomatic.
- 11. Correct plural subject Original: female Suggested revision: women Why it matters: “Female” cannot function as the plural count noun intended here.
- 12. Correct comparison word Original: that Suggested revision: than Why it matters: A comparison between groups requires “than,” not “that.”
Suggested Rewrites
- difference ability different abilities
- skill weakness weaknesses in skills
- a the
- distinguished for certain work fields assigned to different fields
- increase the profit increase profits
- would will
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response takes a clear position and provides concrete occupational examples, with the discussion of physical demands giving the argument its strongest support. However, it relies heavily on broad gender stereotypes, does not examine individual ability or fairness, and presents all ideas in one dense block with frequent language errors. Prioritise a more nuanced principle for job suitability based on demonstrated requirements and individual competence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and supported with several examples, but the reasoning depends on broad generalisations and overlooks fairness and individual variation.
Evaluate whether specific job requirements can justify selection while explaining why individual competence should matter more than gender alone.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas move from female-dominated to male-dominated work, but the lack of paragraphing and list-like transitions weaken organisation.
Separate the introduction, two main arguments, and conclusion into paragraphs, each with one explicit controlling claim.
Lexical Resource
Some relevant workplace vocabulary is used, though frequent wrong forms and collocations make expression imprecise.
Correct combinations such as 'difference ability', 'gender base priority', 'labours are mostly males', and 'mining in offshore'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex sentences are attempted, but persistent agreement, comparison, article, and clause errors reduce accuracy.
Focus on plural agreement and complete comparison structures, then proofread each complex sentence for a clear main clause.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Write Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender? What is your view? Explain your position.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.