Write Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender? What is your view? Explain your position.
Sample Response
Throughout historyThroughout the history, differences can be observeda difference could be observed in the typestype of jobs men and women have done. However, this old belief that categorises men and women for certain jobs has changed in the modern era and these days, both genders have greater freedoma greater freedom to choose a career. Some people might hold this old beliefpossess the old dogma in this regard; I personallyin this regard, I personally, however, believe that gender equality must be encouraged. One schoolgroup of thought advocates that menmale are physically stronger and are less vulnerablehave less vulnerability while working in a group of people while women are better caregivers and are more soft-heartedfemales are better caretakers and soft-hearted. This is why, according to them, certain kinds of work like loggingcertain works like logging, coal mining and constructionconstruction works are more suitable for men while teaching, cleaning and nursing should be done by womenfemales. While concept of an all-female or all-male workforceall-female or all-male employee concept is supported by some, I think a balanced workplace, where an equal number of men and women work together, is more suitable in terms of social, economic and gender-equality considerationsgender equality perspectives. It is more practical to make occupations open to both sexes as this approach has distinct advantagesas it has distinctive advantages. Due to a slightly different way of dealing with an eventway of dealing an event by men and women in general, having both male and female employees in an organisation brings more innovationinnovations and opensopen new opportunities. For example, a female police officer may have a greater understanding of domestic violence and a better range of strategies for dealing with the problem while a male nurse can better judge the needsneed of a male patient in a hospital. To draw the conclusion, gender-based occupation at first glanceat a first glance may seem beneficial but in reality, the gender equality can ensure better performance, innovation and social progress.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear position in favour of opening professions to both sexes and supports it with relevant police and nursing examples. Its strongest feature is the practical explanation of how mixed workplaces can broaden perspectives, while the main limitation is compressed organisation: the entire essay forms one paragraph and several claims remain general. Prioritise separating the opposing view and the writer’s case into focused body paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The writer maintains a clear opposition to gender-based exclusion and develops relevant benefits of mixed workplaces with specific occupational examples.
Explain more directly why individual ability should determine eligibility and avoid implying that every workplace needs an exactly equal gender split.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses from traditional assumptions to a clear counter-position, but the single-paragraph format weakens the visibility of that progression.
Use separate introduction, opposing-view, writer-view, and conclusion paragraphs, each organised around one controlling idea.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary shows useful range for equality and employment, although several inaccurate collocations and word forms reduce naturalness and precision.
Use natural phrases such as ‘traditional belief’, ‘types of work’, ‘deal with a situation’, and ‘gender-based occupational restrictions’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses varied sentence forms, but recurring errors in agreement, articles, plurals, prepositions, and clause boundaries limit control.
Separate comma-linked independent clauses and check subject-verb agreement whenever the subject contains coordinated nouns or collective ideas.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Write Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender? What is your view? Explain your position.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.