In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder than others? Is it always a good thing to work hard?
Sample Response
It is undeniable that industriousness can push usalways pushes us to surpass our limitations and leads us to success. However, overwork could have adverse consequencesoutcomes. This essay will first explainpinpoint why people are encouraged to work hard and then analyse whether it is worthwhile to work hard in every situationworthwhile to be diligent on all occasions.
There are several reasonsfactors why people are willing to work harder in education and employmentendeavour more in the study and work than others. In the educational context, working hard can bringprovide significant rewards for highly motivated students. By performing better, they are entitled to choose their favourite majors and dream schools. In some poor areas where the educational resources are scarcestudying resources are rare, studying hard seems to be the only way to escape poverty and buildcreate an entirely new life. From a career perspective, promotion prospectsoccupational promotion drives employees to outperform others through diligent workby means of diligence, leading to better prospects for a higher income and a managerial positionbetter chances of higher income and management level. As a result, employees would direct their efforts toward the long-term developmentdevote all their passion and enthusiasm to the sustainable development of their companies.
Nevertheless, working long hours may not guarantee success. Instead, it exerts a detrimental influence on health and creativity. In addition to endurance and perseveranceAside from endurance and perseverance, some work requires the ability to work strategically. Some people who always keep busy are simply wasting their timewasting away their time by working on low-value tasks. Besides, many studies show that an excessive workloadoverload of work leaves people no time to relax and maintain a healthy work-life balanceimprove work-life balance, giving rise to stress disorders and other neurological illnesses. As a result, the imagination will dry up, with no novel ideas coming up.
In conclusion, hard work can be a component of success only when applied to the right tasks and activities. The hectic work schedule, which undermines one's health and creativity, is never a risk worth taking.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response answers both questions fully, offering a clear position and well-organised explanations across educational and employment contexts. Its main limitation is occasional imprecision in collocation and phrasing, which makes otherwise sophisticated ideas sound slightly unnatural. The highest-priority improvement is to refine word combinations and qualify a few broad causal claims while preserving the essay's strong logical development.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are addressed directly with a clear position and relevant, well-developed reasons and consequences.
Qualify broad claims about illness and creativity with a more precise explanation or concrete example to make the support fully convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear progression, purposeful paragraphing, and cohesive links that guide the reader through the two questions smoothly.
Reduce reliance on overt transition phrases where the logical relationship is already clear, allowing the argument to flow even more naturally.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is broad and topic-appropriate, but recurring awkward combinations occasionally weaken precision and naturalness.
Refine collocations such as “studying resources are rare,” “overload of work,” and “management level” into more idiomatic academic phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with strong overall control, and the few errors or awkward constructions do not impede meaning.
Review article use, comparative structures, and noun phrasing in longer sentences to make grammatical control consistently precise.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder than others? Is it always a good thing to work hard?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.