Wild animals have no use in the 21 st century and trying to preserve animals now is just a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
It is sometimes argued that wildlife has been declining in recent years at a startling pace and that deploying any scheme to protect endangered animals would be wastage of money. However, I completely disagree with this idea. In one hand, it can be argued that wild animals are becoming increasingly extinct in present decade.One of the grave reasons for this decline is ever increasing numbers of human on the earth which have fueled up the demands for more houses and roads. At the same time, the need of self-sufficiency in food for the human has led to a destruction of natural habitats. So depletion of green spaces ends up with decreased number of wild animals. For instance, chemical farming is required to meet the demand for cheaper food at any cost, and these practices are driven by greater demands for natural habitats such as woodland, forests and hills to be converted into farmlands. Urbanisation is another big factor with a greater number of people tends to live in cities and more space needed to extend cities at the expense of removing wild habitats. Nevertheless, I believe that conservation of wild creature is crucial for the human survival as well as for a healthy ecosystem and that it is worthwhile to utilise recourses to protect them. If we do not bother to deploy any targeted scheme to save animal lives, then biodiversity and ecosystem will suffer. As a result, it will have a devastating effect on the food chain for all living creatures. So the government should take more initiatives to carry out different strategies to ensure the survival of wild animals. Establishment of more zoos, as well as protecting natural areas, should also be ensured by the government and the law enforcing authority. In conclusion, I would argue that wild animals are the vital part of our planet and they should be protected at every possible cost.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural noun phrase Original: wastage of money Suggested revision: a waste of money Why it matters: The standard expression is ‘a waste of money’.
- 2. Correct linking phrase Original: In one hand Suggested revision: On the one hand Why it matters: The fixed contrastive expression begins with ‘on’.
- 3. Use accurate adjective Original: extinct Suggested revision: endangered Why it matters: A species can become increasingly endangered, whereas extinct is an absolute state.
- 4. Add definite article Original: in present decade Suggested revision: in the present decade Why it matters: This specified time period requires the definite article.
- 5. Choose natural collocation Original: grave Suggested revision: main Why it matters: ‘Main reasons’ is a more natural collocation for identifying causes.
- 6. Fix number and noun Original: ever increasing numbers of human Suggested revision: the ever-increasing number of humans Why it matters: The expression needs a singular head noun and the plural count noun ‘humans’.
- 7. Fix agreement and verb Original: which have fueled up Suggested revision: which has fuelled Why it matters: The relative verb agrees with singular ‘number’, and ‘fuel’ does not take ‘up’ here.
- 8. Use singular demand Original: demands Suggested revision: demand Why it matters: ‘Demand’ is uncountable when referring generally to market need.
- 9. Clarify the phrase Original: need of self-sufficiency in food for the human Suggested revision: need for human self-sufficiency in food Why it matters: The revision uses the correct preposition and a natural noun phrase.
- 10. Remove incorrect article Original: a Suggested revision: the Why it matters: The specific destruction caused by this pressure takes the definite article.
- 11. Use precise result phrase Original: ends up with decreased number Suggested revision: results in a decreased number Why it matters: ‘Results in’ expresses this cause-and-effect relationship more precisely.
- 12. Fix subject agreement Original: tends Suggested revision: tend Why it matters: The plural noun ‘people’ requires the plural verb ‘tend’ in this structure.
Suggested Rewrites
- wastage of money a waste of money
- In one hand On the one hand
- extinct endangered
- in present decade in the present decade
- grave main
- ever increasing numbers of human the ever-increasing number of humans
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear position and offers a relevant explanation of why wildlife conservation matters for ecosystems and human survival. Its main limitation is that much of the first half describes causes of wildlife decline rather than directly evaluating whether preservation is a worthwhile use of resources, while frequent language errors reduce precision. Prioritise developing two directly relevant reasons with specific, clearly linked support.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear disagreement is sustained, but the discussion of habitat loss only indirectly addresses whether conservation wastes resources.
Develop each main paragraph around a direct reason that preservation benefits society or justifies its cost.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument has a discernible progression, although the single-block presentation and some inaccurate transitions weaken organisation.
Separate the causes and conservation arguments into focused paragraphs with logically accurate links between sentences.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonably varied environmental vocabulary, but several spelling and collocation errors reduce precision.
Use more natural combinations such as resources for conservation, wildlife populations, and law-enforcement authorities.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the argument, but agreement, article, preposition, and sentence-boundary errors recur.
Proofread complex sentences for complete clause structure and consistent subject-verb and noun agreement.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Wild animals have no use in the 21 st century and trying to preserve animals now is just a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.