Parents, who send their children to private school, should not be required to pay education tax. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Tax is aiding to creep the authority revenue by the direct or indirect ways from the public. Tax is collected by various modes such as- by Tool tax, Educational tax and so on. It is believed that guardian should not be required to disburse education tax who send their children to private schools. I accede to this interpretation that parents should not pay tax who send their children to private schools because they already sacrifice by spending a huge amount in schools as a fee for their children's education. For instance, in Canada, the private school or university want a big chunk of money from guardians who want higher educations for their children. So they should not do more sacrifice by paying education taxes. On the other hand, it is believed that all people are equal, nobody is different to each other so all people have a responsibility to pay tax as an equality. Moreover, we know that the tax money is used in the government schools for covering the education of students, authority schools can also provide a higher education to students in private schools. In addition to, we also pay an emergency tax for fire brigade or ambulance. As evidence, fortunate, some people do not use this help in their lives but they pay this tax so, as this all parents should be paid education tax even they send their children to private schools. To sum up, I strongly believe that all parents should not be pay tax because they already pay huge money to schools. I think as the burden of pay education tax, the students cannot able to concentrate in their study.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix the example marker Original: such as- by Suggested revision: such as Why it matters: Such as already introduces examples, so the hyphen and by are incorrect.
- 2. Correct the tax name Original: Tool Suggested revision: toll Why it matters: Tool is a spelling error in the name of this tax.
- 3. Use the standard term Original: Educational Suggested revision: education Why it matters: Education functions as the noun modifier in this tax term.
- 4. Use the plural noun Original: guardian Suggested revision: guardians Why it matters: The general claim requires the plural noun guardians.
- 5. Fix verb and clause link Original: disburse education tax who send Suggested revision: pay education tax if they send Why it matters: People pay a tax, and who cannot refer to education tax.
- 6. State agreement naturally Original: I accede to this interpretation Suggested revision: I agree with this view Why it matters: The original expression is overly formal and unidiomatic for stating agreement.
- 7. Fix the clause link Original: pay tax who send Suggested revision: pay the tax if they send Why it matters: Who incorrectly refers to tax rather than the parents.
- 8. Complete the collocation Original: sacrifice by spending Suggested revision: make a sacrifice by spending Why it matters: Sacrifice needs the verb make in this structure.
- 9. Use natural fee wording Original: in schools as a fee Suggested revision: on school fees Why it matters: Money is spent on school fees rather than in schools as a fee.
- 10. Fix number and verb Original: private school or university want Suggested revision: private schools or universities charge Why it matters: The general nouns should be plural, and institutions charge fees rather than want money.
- 11. Use formal wording Original: a big chunk of money Suggested revision: substantial fees Why it matters: Substantial fees is more precise and appropriately formal.
- 12. Use the uncountable noun Original: educations Suggested revision: education Why it matters: Education is uncountable in this expression.
Suggested Rewrites
- such as- by such as
- Tool toll
- Educational education
- guardian guardians
- disburse education tax who send pay education tax if they send
- I accede to this interpretation I agree with this view
Why this response received Band 5.0
The essay gives a recognizable position that parents using private schools should be exempt and offers the relevant reason that they already pay substantial fees. It also considers the opposing principle that everyone contributes to shared public services. However, the argument becomes inconsistent and difficult to follow, especially around how tax funds benefit private-school families, while frequent vocabulary and grammar errors obscure meaning. Prioritize one coherent justification supported by clear sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A position and two relevant perspectives are present, but support is limited, some claims are illogical, and the final concentration point is not convincingly connected to the issue.
Choose two clear reasons for exemption and explain how each directly affects fairness or public funding.
Coherence and Cohesion
Basic progression from support to opposition and conclusion is visible, but the single paragraph, run-on sentences and mechanical connectors make relationships difficult to follow.
Use separate paragraphs for the position, one supporting reason, the counterargument and the conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a range of tax and education vocabulary, but frequent incorrect choices such as 'creep revenue' and 'do more sacrifice' reduce clarity.
Use common precise terms such as 'raise government revenue', 'pay school fees' and 'contribute to public services'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in agreement, passive forms, articles and clause joining sometimes make sentences hard to interpret.
Build shorter complete sentences and check core forms such as 'parents should pay' and 'students cannot concentrate'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Parents, who send their children to private school, should not be required to pay education tax. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.