Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports?
Sample Response
In recent years we have seen a considerable rise in participation in dangerous or extreme sportsrise in dangerous or extreme sports. This essay willshall discuss some of the main reasons why people engage in such sports and suggest ways in which some risks involved in such sports can be reduced.
The main reason why people participate in dangerous sportsgo for dangerous sports is that they get a thrill from themget the thrill out of them. They like taking risks. They like to challenge their abilities and potentialpotentials. They feel a sense of satisfaction when they face their fearscome face to face with fears while bungee jumping, rock climbing and so on. In addition, going through a dangerous experience gives them courage and confidence to face the challenges of daily lifehurdles of their daily life.
Another reason for pursuing such sports is that considerable fame and money can be gained from themthere is a lot of fame and money involved in them. They get attention by doing stunts on motorcycles and jumping from tall buildings. They make headlines in newspapers and TV News Channels. They feel great when their name comes in the Guinness Book of World Records. Once they get famous they also earn a lot of moneyget a lot of money also. For instance, many businesses hire them to endorse their products. They also get jobs on the basis of such skills.
Many steps can be taken to reduce the risks are that involved. Firstly, these sports should be done under strict supervision. All safety precautions should be taken. Such sports should be performed after sufficient training and under supervision of adults. Sport companies which cater to such sports should require a license for providing such training. Some people suggest banning some sports. However, I do not believe that banning is a good solution. We all know that forbidden fruits taste sweeter and people will do such sports in secret, whichin hiding which would increase the risks involved.
To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that, people do such sports for fun, for money and for fame. However, such sports should be performed after sufficient training from licensed companies and under some supervision.under some supervision
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives two clear, relevant reasons for participation and supports them with explanations and examples, while maintaining a generally logical progression. Its main limitation is the substantial discussion of safety measures, which the stated question does not ask for; prioritise deeper development of the motives themselves and remove off-task material, while also tightening awkward grammar and collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response develops relevant motives involving thrill, challenge, fame, and money, but devotes substantial space to unrequested safety solutions.
Focus every body paragraph on why people participate and extend the underlying motives rather than introducing off-task solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a clear paragraph sequence and uses linking devices effectively, although progression is weakened by the shift to safety measures and some choppy sentences.
Maintain one purpose throughout the essay and combine closely related short sentences to create smoother progression within paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, but several collocations and expressions are awkward or imprecise.
Use more natural combinations such as develop their potential, earn money, and sports providers, while avoiding memorised concluding phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the ideas clearly, but recurring article, agreement, punctuation, and sentence-construction errors reduce control.
Proofread complex clauses for a single complete structure and check articles, verb forms, and comma placement before finalising the response.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.