The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. Reasons why adult people decide to study (figures in percentages)
Sample Response
The figures illustrate the outcome of a survey about the different intention why adults opt to further their education and their opinion on how the fees of each course should be funded.
It is immediately apparent that the interest in subject and gaining qualifications are the top reasons for adults’ decision to continue their education while each individual should fund the majority of their course fees.
By looking into details, interest in Subject has the highest result in the survey with 40 percent of the total outcome. It is closely followed by the reason to gain qualifications with only 2 percent difference at 38%. The following reasons which are helpful for the current job, to improve prospects of promotion and enjoy studying are about one-fifth of the total result ranging from 20% to22% while to able to change jobs and to meet people are just 17 percent combined.
Meanwhile, individuals top the result of cost sharing with 40 percent. Employers are just above thirds of the total result on how fees should be shared whilst taxpayer should share a quarter of the costs.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Plural agreement Original: different intention Suggested revision: different reasons Why it matters: The chart presents several reasons, so a plural count noun is needed.
- 2. Natural phrasing Original: the interest in subject Suggested revision: interest in the subject Why it matters: This is the natural noun phrase for the category.
- 3. Missing article Original: with only 2 percent difference Suggested revision: with a difference of only 2 percentage points Why it matters: A singular count noun needs an article, and percentage points is more precise.
- 4. Missing space Original: to22% Suggested revision: to 22% Why it matters: Insert a space after the range marker.
- 5. Infinitive form Original: while to able to change jobs Suggested revision: while being able to change jobs Why it matters: The phrase needs a gerund to work as the subject category.
- 6. Clarify categories Original: just 17 percent combined Suggested revision: 12% and 9%, respectively Why it matters: Reporting the two figures separately makes the comparison clearer.
- 7. Chart collocation Original: individuals top the result Suggested revision: individuals account for the largest share Why it matters: Top the result is not a natural description of a pie-chart proportion.
- 8. Fraction form Original: just above thirds Suggested revision: just over one third Why it matters: A singular fraction is required for 35%.
- 9. Plural noun Original: whilst taxpayer should share Suggested revision: while taxpayers should cover Why it matters: The category refers to taxpayers generally.
- 10. Plural survey findings Original: the outcome of a survey Suggested revision: the results of a survey Why it matters: Results is the standard term for several findings shown in charts.
- 11. Clause construction Original: why adults opt Suggested revision: that lead adults to choose Why it matters: The revision creates a natural clause describing the reasons for adults' choices.
- 12. Plural respondents Original: their opinion on how Suggested revision: respondents' views on how Why it matters: The survey represents the views of multiple respondents.
Suggested Rewrites
- different intention different reasons
- the interest in subject interest in the subject
- with only 2 percent difference with a difference of only 2 percentage points
- to22% to 22%
- while to able to change jobs while being able to change jobs
- just 17 percent combined 12% and 9%, respectively
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear overview and accurately reports most of the principal figures from both charts, including the leading study motives and the proposed cost shares. Its main weakness is imprecise, sometimes ungrammatical wording, while several smaller categories are compressed rather than compared. Prioritise accurate comparative sentences and natural noun phrases so the data are both clearer and easier to follow.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
A clear overview identifies the two leading reasons and the largest funding share, and most figures are accurate.
Compare the lower study motives separately instead of only combining the two smallest values.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and progression from overview to details are logical.
Use clearer comparative links between categories and avoid overlong data sentences.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for the charts, but several collocations are unnatural or imprecise.
Use precise terms such as reasons, respondents, proportions and course costs.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of structures is attempted, though article, agreement and infinitive errors recur.
Check plural nouns, articles and complete infinitive forms before submitting.