The chart below shows the average daily minimum and maximum levels of two air pollutants in four big cities in 2000.
Sample Response
The column chart compares the lowest and highest levels of Sulphur Dioxide (SO2) and Dinitrous Oxide (NO2), two air pollutants, in four cities, namely Los Angeles, Calcutta, Beijing and Mexico in 2000.
Overall, the average presence of these two air polluting ingredients was much higher in Mexico than the other three cities. The higher presence of Sulphur Dioxide and Dinitrous Oxide in Mexico reveal that air pollution in this city is worse than the three other cities. As is presented in the graph, the level of Sulphur Dioxide in the air of Los Angeles ranges from 1 to 10 which is remarkably lower than that of other cities. The presence of this air pollutant varies from 80 to 200 in Mexico which is the highest. The minimum level of SO2 is 47 in Calcutta and 25 in Beijing but the maximum range goes as high as 130 in Beijing which is more than double than that of Calcutta city.
On the other hand, the presence of the second air polluting material - Dinitrous oxide, on an average, could be found more in the Mexico City’s air than any other city provided in the illustration. The minimum level of N2O in Mexico was 113 which was almost ten times higher than that of Beijing and approximately four times higher than that of Calcutta and Los Angeles. The upper level of N2O in Los Angeles was higher than the presence of N2O in Calcutta and Beijing.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Match pollutant label Original: (NO2) Suggested revision: (N2O) Why it matters: The visual labels dinitrous oxide as N2O, so the abbreviation must match it.
- 2. Use precise term Original: air polluting ingredients Suggested revision: air pollutants Why it matters: Air pollutants is the standard and more precise term for these substances.
- 3. Fix agreement Original: was much higher Suggested revision: were much higher Why it matters: The plural subject these two air pollutants requires were.
- 4. Fix verb agreement Original: Mexico reveal Suggested revision: Mexico reveals Why it matters: The singular noun phrase presence requires the verb reveals.
- 5. Complete comparison Original: worse than the three other cities Suggested revision: worse than in the other three cities Why it matters: The comparison needs in because air pollution is being compared across locations.
- 6. Add comma Original: 10 which Suggested revision: 10, which Why it matters: A comma is needed before the non-defining relative clause.
- 7. Describe a range Original: The presence of this air pollutant varies Suggested revision: The level of this pollutant ranges Why it matters: Level and ranges describe the chart's minimum-to-maximum values more precisely.
- 8. Clarify comparison Original: which is the highest Suggested revision: the highest range shown Why it matters: The revision makes clear that Mexico has the highest SO2 minimum and maximum.
- 9. Name maximum correctly Original: maximum range Suggested revision: maximum level Why it matters: A single upper value is a maximum level, not a range.
- 10. Fix comparison form Original: more than double than Suggested revision: more than double Why it matters: Double is followed directly by the comparison target without than.
- 11. Use standard term Original: air polluting material Suggested revision: air pollutant Why it matters: Air pollutant is more concise and idiomatic in this context.
- 12. Fix fixed phrase Original: on an average Suggested revision: on average Why it matters: The standard fixed expression is on average.
Suggested Rewrites
- (NO2) (N2O)
- air polluting ingredients air pollutants
- was much higher were much higher
- Mexico reveal Mexico reveals
- worse than the three other cities worse than in the other three cities
- 10 which 10, which
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a clear overview and selects the main contrasts, with Mexico identified as the most polluted city and useful comparisons across the other locations. Its main limitation is imprecise language and a few inaccurate proportional claims about nitrogen dioxide. Prioritise exact comparisons from the chart and replace awkward phrases with standard terms for pollutant levels and ranges.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
A clear overview and mostly accurate coverage of the principal minimum and maximum values address the task well, although some proportional comparisons are imprecise.
Report the exact nitrogen dioxide maximums and check each ratio against the chart before describing how many times larger one figure is.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the overview to sulphur dioxide and then nitrogen dioxide, with generally effective referencing and linking.
Use a more precise transition than 'On the other hand' when moving between pollutant categories that are being compared rather than contrasted.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of topic vocabulary, but several collocations such as 'air polluting ingredients' and 'upper level' are unnatural.
Use conventional chart language such as 'pollutant concentration,' 'minimum level,' and 'maximum level' consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentence forms is used and meaning remains clear, though agreement, comparison, and possessive errors recur.
Review comparative structures and noun phrases, especially forms such as 'more than double' and 'Mexico City's air.'