The bar chart below shows the global sales of televisions by Supervision Incorporation from 1999 to 2012.

Sample Response

1

The bar chart presents data on the global TV sales from 1999 to 2012, over a period of 14 years, by Supervision Incorporationthe Supervision Incorporation. The sales volume is given in million units and it is obvious that the company's sales volumesales amount of this company increased with some fluctuations over timeover the time. In detailGetting back to the details, 10 million TVs were sold by Supervision Incorporation worldwide in 1999 and it rose to about 14 million in 2001 and 2002increased by 3 to 5 million in 2002 and 2003. The sales amount fell to about 13 million in 2003dropped a bit in the next year and then rose again in 2004 with a figure of about 18 million unitsnearly 20 million sales. From this point, there was a steady growthprogress in television salesin the television sales and the number reached about 31 million in 2008went over 30 million in 2008. The company witnessed a decline in its sales in 2009 compared to the previous year's salesprevious year’s sale. The global TV sales in 2010 by this manufacturer went well over 40 million which was just double the 2005 figuredouble than that of 2005. Finally, with a noticeable fall in 2011slight dip in 2011, the television salessales volume of TVs by this company in 2012 reached around 48 millionreached to around 48.5 million.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The report gives a clear overall trend and selects the two downturns as notable features, with generally logical progression from the start to the end of the period. However, several year references and numerical descriptions are inaccurate or ambiguous, and awkward data collocations recur; revising each bar against the chart and using precise rise-to or fall-to structures would make the account substantially stronger.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

6.0
Scoring rule

The task is addressed with relevant content, but key details or reasoning need fuller precision.

Next step

Develop the main features or claims with exact, verifiable support.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Scoring rule

The response has a clear overall structure, though local progression can be more precise.

Next step

Use explicit, economical sequencing and remove repetition.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.5
Scoring rule

Vocabulary is sufficient for the task, but several collocations or word choices are inaccurate.

Next step

Replace awkward combinations with standard academic or task-specific phrasing.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0
Scoring rule

A range of forms is attempted, but recurring grammar errors reduce accuracy.

Next step

Proofread agreement, articles, prepositions and clause structure.

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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1

The bar chart below shows the global sales of televisions by Supervision Incorporation from 1999 to 2012.

Your response

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