The graph below shows the changes in the maximum number of Asian elephants between 1994 and 2007.
Sample Response
The bar graph elucidates the changes in counting Asian elephants in Vietnam, India, Malaysia, Sri Lanka, Cambodia, Laos, Myanmar, Thailand, and China between 1994 and 2007. The data is calibrated in thousands.
After analysing the bar graph, it can be seen clearly that Vietnam has counted the population of Asian elephants for two years. In contrast, there were significant differences observed in India, where there were nearly a thousand people in 1997 compared to 3500 in 2400. Likewise, counting wild animals was identical to that witnessed in Malaysia and Sri Lanka in 1997. At the same time, growth in the following year remained similar in the same two regions that had been observed collectively.
Further strengthening the bar graph, Cambodia had a negligible difference between 1998 and 2007. According to the estimate, approximately one-tenth of the population of Asian elephants is in loans. Apart from that, in terms of the Myanmar nation, there were 4800 more Asian elephants in 1997 than in 2007. While in the initial year, the standard of living decreased by almost one-fourth in Thailand, which decreased by tiny fractions in 2007. Last but not least, the 1500 population of China was seen by Asian elephants in both years correspondingly.
Overall, it is clear that India had the highest population estimate, while China had the lowest population.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use neutral verb Original: elucidates Suggested revision: shows Why it matters: A simple reporting verb is clearer and more natural for introducing a chart.
- 2. Name the measure Original: changes in counting Asian elephants Suggested revision: changes in the estimated maximum population of Asian elephants Why it matters: The chart reports estimated maximum populations rather than a process of counting animals.
- 3. Correct the unit Original: The data is calibrated in thousands Suggested revision: The data are given as estimated numbers of elephants Why it matters: The axis displays elephant counts up to 10,000, not values expressed in thousands.
- 4. Correct comparison Original: counting wild animals was identical to that witnessed Suggested revision: the estimated elephant populations were similar Why it matters: Malaysia and Sri Lanka were both near 3,000 in 1997, but the figures were not identical.
- 5. Use logical transition Original: Further strengthening the bar graph Suggested revision: Turning to the remaining countries Why it matters: The original transition does not express a logical relationship with the data that follow.
- 6. Correct the years Original: 1998 and 2007 Suggested revision: 1997 and 2004 Why it matters: The chart compares 1997 with 2004.
- 7. Link to chart Original: According to the estimate Suggested revision: The chart also shows that Why it matters: This transition identifies the source and connects the next observation more clearly.
- 8. Correct Laos figure Original: approximately one-tenth of the population of Asian elephants is in loans Suggested revision: the estimated population in Laos was about 1,100 elephants in both years Why it matters: The chart gives a count for Laos, not a proportion or a place called loans.
- 9. Use concise place name Original: in terms of the Myanmar nation Suggested revision: in Myanmar Why it matters: The longer phrase is unnatural and unnecessary when naming a country.
- 10. Correct the difference Original: 4800 more Suggested revision: about 600 more Why it matters: Myanmar falls from roughly 5,300 to 4,700, a difference of about 600.
- 11. Complete the clause Original: While in the initial year Suggested revision: Between the two years Why it matters: The original subordinating clause leaves the sentence without a complete main-clause structure.
- 12. Use chart measure Original: the standard of living Suggested revision: the estimated elephant population Why it matters: The chart concerns elephant numbers, not human living standards.
Suggested Rewrites
- elucidates shows
- changes in counting Asian elephants changes in the estimated maximum population of Asian elephants
- The data is calibrated in thousands The data are given as estimated numbers of elephants
- counting wild animals was identical to that witnessed the estimated elephant populations were similar
- Further strengthening the bar graph Turning to the remaining countries
- 1998 and 2007 1997 and 2004
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response identifies the broad extremes of India and China and attempts to cover every country, which gives it some task focus. However, frequent misread figures, years, and trends—especially for India, Myanmar, Thailand, and China—combine with unclear language to make much of the account unreliable; the priority is to verify each value against the chart and express comparisons in plain, accurate sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview correctly identifies India as highest and China as lowest, but many supporting figures, dates, and trends contradict the chart.
Read the two bars for each country carefully and report a smaller set of accurate comparisons, especially the largest declines and the few stable or rising cases.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has an introduction, detail paragraphs, and an overview, but progression is weakened by confusing comparisons and misused linking phrases.
Group countries by clear patterns such as sharp decline, slight change, and increase, then use straightforward links between those groups.
Lexical Resource
There is some range in chart vocabulary, but frequent inappropriate choices such as “counting,” “loans,” and “standard of living” repeatedly distort meaning.
Prefer precise, familiar terms such as “population,” “fell,” “remained stable,” and “rose” instead of forcing elaborate expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted, but frequent faulty clauses, unclear reference, and fragments make several comparisons difficult to understand.
Write complete subject-verb sentences for one comparison at a time and check that every dependent clause is attached to a main clause.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the changes in the maximum number of Asian elephants between 1994 and 2007.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.