The tables and pie chart show in percentage terms of the results of a survey of a new shopping complex in Auckland, New Zealand. Shops Restaurants Design
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Sample Response
The tables show the satisfaction level of survey participants about the quality of shops and restaurants of a new shopping plaza in Auckland, New Zeland while the pie chart depicts how satisfied they were about the design of this shopping complex. Overall, more men thought that the restaurant was good than that of females while a majority of the shoppers said that they liked the design of this mall. According to the given illustration, around half of the male survey takers were satisfied with the quality of the shops while 17% of them were very satisfied. On the other hand, over two-thirds of the females said that they were either satisfied or quite satisfied with the stores. Exactly One-fifth of the males and females were dissatisfied with the shops. Now regarding the restaurants, more than half of the males opined that they were satisfied with them while a male out of four was more than satisfied. The objection level of the men about the restaurant was quite ignorable, only 5% to be precise, and this percentage was slightly less than one-fourth of the dissatisfied females with the restaurant quality. A few participants did not comment on the shopping complex's shop and dining quality which ranges from 9 to 20 percentages for males and females. More than six participants out of every ten expressed their satisfaction with the design of this shopping mall while exactly 17% were very contented about it. One in every ten people did not comment on the design while a very similar proportion of people showed their dissatisfactions.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: satisfaction level Suggested revision: levels of satisfaction Why it matters: The plural phrase more naturally describes the several response categories shown.
- 2. Fix the collocation Original: about Suggested revision: with Why it matters: People are satisfied with the quality of something, not satisfied about it.
- 3. Correct the place name Original: Zeland Suggested revision: Zealand Why it matters: The country name is misspelled.
- 4. Use satisfied with Original: about Suggested revision: with Why it matters: The adjective satisfied takes with when referring to a feature or quality.
- 5. Match the survey measure Original: thought that the restaurant was good Suggested revision: were satisfied with the restaurants Why it matters: This wording accurately reflects the satisfaction categories and the plural restaurant facilities in the visual.
- 6. Complete the comparison Original: than that of females while Suggested revision: than women were, while Why it matters: The comparison needs a parallel clause and a comma before the contrasting while-clause.
- 7. Refer to all visuals Original: illustration Suggested revision: visuals Why it matters: The task contains two tables and a pie chart rather than one illustration.
- 8. Use formal respondent term Original: male survey takers Suggested revision: male respondents Why it matters: Respondents is the standard concise term for people who completed a survey.
- 9. Use the chart label Original: quite Suggested revision: very Why it matters: The shops table labels this category Very Satisfied, not quite satisfied.
- 10. Fix mid-sentence capital Original: One Suggested revision: one Why it matters: One-fifth should not be capitalized in the middle of a sentence.
- 11. Use a formal transition Original: Now regarding Suggested revision: Turning to Why it matters: Turning to introduces the second table more smoothly and formally.
- 12. Use survey reporting language Original: males opined Suggested revision: male respondents reported Why it matters: Reported is more appropriate than opined for describing fixed survey responses.
Suggested Rewrites
- satisfaction level levels of satisfaction
- about with
- Zeland Zealand
- about with
- thought that the restaurant was good were satisfied with the restaurants
- than that of females while than women were, while
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s strongest feature is its generally accurate coverage of the figures, including the main gender contrasts and the dominant positive reaction to the design. Its main limitation is that all information is compressed into one paragraph and several awkward or imprecise expressions weaken clarity. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the report into clear overview and detail paragraphs while using the chart labels and comparisons more precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a clear overview and accurately reports most key figures and gender differences, though the overview could identify the contrasting shop and restaurant patterns more fully.
Make the overview more comprehensive by summarising both major gender contrasts and retain the exact response categories used in the visuals.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information follows a sensible sequence from shops to restaurants and design, but the single-paragraph presentation and some awkward referencing reduce cohesion.
Separate the introduction, overview, and grouped detail comparisons into distinct paragraphs with clearer links between related figures.
Lexical Resource
A sufficient range of vocabulary describes satisfaction and comparison, but several unnatural collocations and word-form choices reduce precision.
Replace phrases such as “objection level,” “20 percentages,” and “showed their dissatisfactions” with natural statistical language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with generally clear meaning, although comparison, agreement, and noun-form errors recur.
Proofread comparative structures and agreement carefully, especially in sentences combining several categories or groups.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The tables and pie chart show in percentage terms of the results of a survey of a new shopping complex in Auckland, New Zealand. Shops Restaurants Design
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Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.