The table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999.
Sample Response
The table presents data regarding the poor families of different household types in Australia in 1999. Generally speaking, 11% of all Australian households lived in poverty in 1999, and among them, sole parents and singles without any child were the highest in percentages that lived in hardship. According to the given data, more than 1.8 million families in Australia lived in economic misfortune in 1999 that formed 11% of the total households. Among them, around 50 thousand poor families came from both the single aged person and aged couple type families who formed 6% and 4% of the total of that family types. Sole parents and singles without children formed the largest percentage of poor families and their percentages were consecutively 21% and 19% of their family types. The highest percentage of poor families was from sole parents and the highest number of the needy family was from couples with children type. Comparatively, couple with no child had less poverty percentage than the single with no children family types. It is obvious that senior Austrlains suffered less from poverty than the sole parents and single persons with no child.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Identify the measure Original: data regarding the poor families Suggested revision: data on people living in poverty Why it matters: The table counts people in each household type rather than poor families.
- 2. Correct the denominator Original: 11% of all Australian households Suggested revision: 11% of people across all Australian households Why it matters: The 11% figure is a proportion of people, not a proportion of households.
- 3. Use the category label Original: singles without any child Suggested revision: single people without children Why it matters: The plural category is expressed more naturally with without children.
- 4. Fix the comparison Original: were the highest in percentages Suggested revision: had the highest percentages Why it matters: Household categories have percentages rather than being highest in percentages.
- 5. Correct the unit Original: families Suggested revision: people Why it matters: The figure of 1,837,000 represents people living in poverty.
- 6. Use the stated measure Original: economic misfortune Suggested revision: poverty Why it matters: Poverty is the direct and precise term used by the task.
- 7. Use a participle link Original: that formed 11% Suggested revision: representing 11% Why it matters: A participle phrase links the total to its proportion clearly.
- 8. Clarify the total Original: of the total households Suggested revision: of people across all household types Why it matters: The percentage describes people represented by the all-households category.
- 9. Correct the counted group Original: around 50 thousand poor families Suggested revision: around 50 thousand people living in poverty Why it matters: The values of 54,000 and 48,000 count people rather than families.
- 10. Clarify group membership Original: came from both Suggested revision: were in each of Why it matters: Each figure belongs to a separate household category, so both is misleading.
- 11. Name the categories clearly Original: single aged person and aged couple type families Suggested revision: single-aged-person and aged-couple household types Why it matters: The revised compound labels form a clear plural noun phrase.
- 12. Fix the relative clause Original: who formed 6% and 4% Suggested revision: which represented 6% and 4% Why it matters: Which refers to the figures and represented expresses their proportions accurately.
Suggested Rewrites
- data regarding the poor families data on people living in poverty
- 11% of all Australian households 11% of people across all Australian households
- singles without any child single people without children
- were the highest in percentages had the highest percentages
- families people
- economic misfortune poverty
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response selects the main contrasts effectively, highlighting the highest poverty rates among sole-parent and single-adult households, the relatively low rates for older households, and the largest count for couples with children. Its main weakness is the repeated misidentification of people as families or households, alongside awkward wording and limited paragraph structure. The highest priority is to preserve the table's units precisely and organize the overview and supporting comparisons into clear paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and the principal high and low comparisons are presented, although the numerical counts are repeatedly and inaccurately described as families rather than people.
Retain the table's unit by describing every bracketed figure as a number of people and include the 12% rate for couples with children alongside their leading count.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information follows a generally logical sequence, but presenting the entire report as one paragraph weakens the separation between the overview and supporting details.
Use separate paragraphs for the overview and detailed comparisons, grouping the higher-risk non-aged households apart from the lower-risk aged and childless-couple categories.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonably varied vocabulary for proportions and comparison, but several choices are awkward or imprecise, including economic misfortune, consecutively, and needy family.
Use neutral statistical wording such as people living in poverty, respectively, accounted for, and household category to improve precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of structures communicates the comparisons, but recurring errors with plurals, articles, agreement, and noun phrases reduce grammatical control.
Check that plural subjects take plural nouns and verbs, and simplify phrases such as the total of those family types before adding subordinate clauses.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.