The charts below show the percentage of food budget the average family spent on restaurant meals in different years. The graph shows the number of meals eaten in fast food restaurants and sit-down restaurants.
This response is estimated at Band 6.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
Given are two figurestwo kinds of figure concerning how much the average family spent on food at four selected points between 1970 and 2000in four years from 1970 to 2000. The first chart provides information about the percentage spent on restaurant mealsabout the spent on restaurant meals (in percentage), while the second one illustrates how many fast food meals and sit-down restaurant meals were eaten in each yearwere in each year.
The most significant point in the pie charts is that between 1970 and 2000 there was a considerable growth from 10%one-fifth in the first year of the period to exactly a half in 2000. That is a rise of 40 percentage pointsforty percent in a thirty-year period.
The most striking feature to comment on in the line chart is that even though both numbers of fast food meals and sit-down meals started at the same point, a mere twenty meals, however, had two different endings. In 1980, the number of sit-down restaurant mealssit-down suppers roserose respectively to approximately thirty-five, while the number of fast-food mealsquickly served meals experienced a smaller increase. However, over the following twenty yearsin twenty years after that, the number of fast-food meals rosethe proportion quickly reached a peak to about 90 meals per yearat relatively ninety, about 40 meals more than the number ofconsiderably forty meals more than that of sit-down restaurant meals.
It is interesting to note that over the thirty-year periodthrough more than thirty years, eating at both fast-food and sit-down restaurantshaving meals in a restaurant whether in fast food or sit-down one has become very popular.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is strongest when it identifies the broad upward trends in both restaurant spending and meal frequency and makes a useful final comparison between fast-food and sit-down meals. Its main limitation is incomplete and partly inaccurate data selection, especially the claim that restaurant spending began at one-fifth rather than 10%, alongside the omission of several intermediate figures. Prioritise accurate values and fuller comparisons across all four years.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overall trend is given for both visuals, but coverage is selective and the 1970 restaurant-spending figure is misreported as 20% rather than 10%.
Compare the four years systematically, including the 1980 and 1990 spending shares and the 1990 meal figures.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a sensible introduction-detail-conclusion sequence, although some linking is repetitive or awkward and comparisons are not always smoothly integrated.
Group the two visuals into focused detail paragraphs and use simpler links to connect each comparison.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary for trends and comparisons, but collocations such as 'the spent,' 'relatively ninety,' and 'the proportion quickly' are imprecise.
Use standard data-reporting phrases such as 'spending rose to 50%' and 'fast-food meals reached about 85 per year.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, but article, agreement, clause-control, and punctuation errors recur.
Revise complex comparison sentences so each has one clear main clause and correctly controlled subordinate clauses.