The charts below show the percentage of food budget the average family spent on restaurant meals in different years. The graph shows the number of meals eaten in fast food restaurants and sit-down restaurants.
Sample Response
Given are two kinds of figure concerning how much the average family spent on food in four years from 1970 to 2000. The first chart provides information about the spent on restaurant meals (in percentage), while the second one illustrates how many fast food meals and sit-down restaurant meals were in each year.
The most significant point in the pie charts is that between 1970 and 2000 there was a considerable growth from one-fifth in the first year of the period to exactly a half in 2000. That is a rise of forty percent in a thirty-year period.
The most striking feature to comment on in the line chart is that even though both numbers of fast food meals and sit-down meals started at the same point, a mere twenty meals, however, had two different endings. In 1980, the number of sit-down suppers rose respectively to approximately thirty-five, while the number of quickly served meals experienced a smaller increase. However, in twenty years after that, the proportion quickly reached a peak at relatively ninety, considerably forty meals more than that of sit-down restaurant meals.
It is interesting to note that through more than thirty years, having meals in a restaurant whether in fast food or sit-down one has become very popular.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise noun Original: two kinds of figure Suggested revision: two figures Why it matters: The plural count noun should be 'figures', and 'kinds of' is unnecessary here.
- 2. Clarify time points Original: in four years from 1970 to 2000 Suggested revision: at four selected points between 1970 and 2000 Why it matters: The visuals present four selected years across the period rather than continuous data for four years.
- 3. Correct noun phrase Original: about the spent on restaurant meals (in percentage) Suggested revision: about the percentage spent on restaurant meals Why it matters: Use 'percentage spent' rather than the incorrect noun phrase 'the spent'.
- 4. Add precise verb Original: were in each year Suggested revision: were eaten in each year Why it matters: Meals are 'eaten', so the passive verb is needed to express the measure clearly.
- 5. Correct 1970 share Original: one-fifth Suggested revision: 10% Why it matters: The 1970 pie chart shows 10% of the food budget spent on restaurant meals, not one-fifth.
- 6. Use percentage points Original: forty percent Suggested revision: 40 percentage points Why it matters: The change from 10% to 50% is 40 percentage points.
- 7. Remove wrong adverb Original: rose respectively Suggested revision: rose Why it matters: 'Respectively' requires a parallel list of matched values and is incorrect in this comparison.
- 8. Match chart label Original: sit-down suppers Suggested revision: sit-down restaurant meals Why it matters: Use the chart's category label for a precise and consistent description.
- 9. Name category precisely Original: quickly served meals Suggested revision: fast-food meals Why it matters: 'Fast-food meals' is the established category shown in the graph.
- 10. Clarify time span Original: in twenty years after that Suggested revision: over the following twenty years Why it matters: This phrasing clearly links the 1980 figure to the change through 2000.
- 11. Name measured quantity Original: the proportion quickly reached a peak Suggested revision: the number of fast-food meals rose Why it matters: The graph measures meals per year, not a proportion, and the category must be identified.
- 12. State value accurately Original: at relatively ninety Suggested revision: to about 90 meals per year Why it matters: The graph shows approximately 90 fast-food meals per year in 2000.
Suggested Rewrites
- two kinds of figure two figures
- in four years from 1970 to 2000 at four selected points between 1970 and 2000
- about the spent on restaurant meals (in percentage) about the percentage spent on restaurant meals
- were in each year were eaten in each year
- one-fifth 10%
- forty percent 40 percentage points
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is strongest when it identifies the broad upward trends in both restaurant spending and meal frequency and makes a useful final comparison between fast-food and sit-down meals. Its main limitation is incomplete and partly inaccurate data selection, especially the claim that restaurant spending began at one-fifth rather than 10%, alongside the omission of several intermediate figures. Prioritise accurate values and fuller comparisons across all four years.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overall trend is given for both visuals, but coverage is selective and the 1970 restaurant-spending figure is misreported as 20% rather than 10%.
Compare the four years systematically, including the 1980 and 1990 spending shares and the 1990 meal figures.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a sensible introduction-detail-conclusion sequence, although some linking is repetitive or awkward and comparisons are not always smoothly integrated.
Group the two visuals into focused detail paragraphs and use simpler links to connect each comparison.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary for trends and comparisons, but collocations such as 'the spent,' 'relatively ninety,' and 'the proportion quickly' are imprecise.
Use standard data-reporting phrases such as 'spending rose to 50%' and 'fast-food meals reached about 85 per year.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, but article, agreement, clause-control, and punctuation errors recur.
Revise complex comparison sentences so each has one clear main clause and correctly controlled subordinate clauses.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the percentage of food budget the average family spent on restaurant meals in different years. The graph shows the number of meals eaten in fast food restaurants and sit-down restaurants.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.