The table gives information about five types of vehicles registered in Australia in 2010, 2012 and 2014.
Sample Response
The yielded table illustrates the number and percentage of change of five different transportation modes in Australia in 2010, 212 and 2014.
Overall, year by year registered vehicle number rose in all types of vehicles in addition, throughout the period passenger vehicles had the most vehicles although, light trucks had the least.
For passengers vehicles, 11,800,000 vehicles were in 2010; it goes upwardly later. To reaching 13,000,000 only 6 years taken, percentage of change was one in tenth. For motorcycles, the number of this vehicle was 540000 in 2012, after two years it jumps up 140000, in 2014 had 709000 and six years change was the zenith, one-third proportion. For light trucks, with the least vehicle, it had only 106000 in 2010, this number was 131000 in 2014 although, changes percentage was second-highest on account of a quarter.
For commercial vehicles, with the second position in 2010, 2300,000 registered vehicles were in this category it climbed continually 200,000 after 2 years gap. 17.4% changed percentage. For heavy trucks, in 2012, the number was 384000 and grew slowly to 390000 and 416000 in 2012, 2014 respectively. 8.3% changed proportion.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix noun phrase Original: year by year registered vehicle number Suggested revision: the number of registered vehicles Why it matters: The original phrase has unnatural word order and lacks the required article.
- 2. Link overview clearly Original: in all types of vehicles in addition, Suggested revision: across all five vehicle types, and Why it matters: This replacement joins the two overview observations without a run-on transition.
- 3. Avoid repetition Original: passenger vehicles had the most vehicles Suggested revision: passenger vehicles were the most numerous Why it matters: The revision expresses the ranking precisely without repeating vehicles.
- 4. Use correct contrast Original: although, light trucks Suggested revision: whereas light trucks Why it matters: Whereas correctly contrasts the largest and smallest categories without the faulty comma.
- 5. Use singular modifier Original: passengers Suggested revision: passenger Why it matters: Passenger functions as a singular noun modifier here.
- 6. Use natural trend verb Original: it goes upwardly later Suggested revision: the figure then rose Why it matters: The revision uses an appropriate past-tense expression for a numerical trend.
- 7. Fix infinitive form Original: reaching Suggested revision: reach Why it matters: The infinitive after to requires the base form reach.
- 8. Correct time span Original: only 6 years taken Suggested revision: only four years were needed Why it matters: The table covers 2010 to 2014, a four-year period.
- 9. Report exact change Original: one in tenth Suggested revision: 10.2% Why it matters: The table gives the passenger-vehicle increase as 10.2%.
- 10. Repair clause structure Original: with the least vehicle, it had only Suggested revision: the least numerous category, there were only Why it matters: The replacement removes the unclear modifier and pronoun structure.
- 11. Fix change phrase Original: although, changes percentage Suggested revision: and the percentage change Why it matters: Percentage change is the correct noun phrase and does not require although here.
- 12. Use table value Original: on account of a quarter Suggested revision: at 23.5% Why it matters: The table reports a precise 23.5% rise for light trucks.
Suggested Rewrites
- year by year registered vehicle number the number of registered vehicles
- in all types of vehicles in addition, across all five vehicle types, and
- passenger vehicles had the most vehicles passenger vehicles were the most numerous
- although, light trucks whereas light trucks
- passengers passenger
- it goes upwardly later the figure then rose
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response identifies the main overall patterns and includes figures for every vehicle category, which gives it reasonable coverage. Its main limitation is unreliable reporting of years, intervals, and several data points, while frequent awkward sentence construction reduces clarity. The highest priority is to check every figure against the table and express comparisons in complete, accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview identifies universal growth, passenger vehicles as the largest category, and light trucks as the smallest, but several years and figures are reported inaccurately.
Verify each year-value pairing and make direct comparisons, especially for motorcycles, commercial vehicles, and heavy trucks.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overview and two detail paragraphs provide a recognizable structure, but run-on sentences and poorly controlled linking often disrupt progression.
Use shorter sentences and a small number of accurately placed linkers to separate each comparison clearly.
Lexical Resource
There is some range for describing quantities and change, but frequent unnatural choices such as 'goes upwardly' and 'changed proportion' reduce precision.
Prefer standard data-reporting phrases such as 'rose to', 'increased by', and 'accounted for the highest percentage change'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and attempted complex structures communicate the broad message, although errors in articles, agreement, verb forms, and sentence boundaries are frequent.
Build complete subject-verb clauses and check tense, agreement, and punctuation before adding subordinate phrases.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table gives information about five types of vehicles registered in Australia in 2010, 2012 and 2014.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.