The chart below shows the changes in sales of four different types of books from 2002 to 2012.
Sample Response
The bar graph compares the deviations in sales of four different book genres for a decade, from 2002 to 2012. Overall, the sales of three given categories - history, entertainment and art books showed a rising trend except for hobby related books while the demand for history books was the highest. In particular, history books were the biggest sellers with a sale volume of around 4500 copies in 2002. This publication made the highest selling record in 2008 with ten thousand sales and then in subsequent years witnessed a slight drop. In 2012, over 9000 history books were sold. The sales of art and entertainment books in 2002 were around 2 thousand copies, approximately half of the history book sales and showed an overall progress in the following years. Approximately 3000 copies of each of these two genres were sold in 2008 which was relatively higher than the previous year's sales. Finally, in 2012 the demand for art books increased to 4000 while the former one was sale volume stood at nearly 3000. On the contrary, hobbies book category recorded the least sale, remained between 500 to 700 in the given period.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the task wording Original: deviations Suggested revision: changes Why it matters: Deviations suggests departures from a norm, whereas the chart simply shows changes over time.
- 2. Use the time preposition Original: for Suggested revision: over Why it matters: Over is the natural preposition for change across a period.
- 3. Use a concise collocation Original: with a sale volume Suggested revision: with sales Why it matters: Sales is a more natural and concise way to introduce the number of copies sold.
- 4. Fix the reference Original: publication Suggested revision: genre Why it matters: History books form a genre, not a single publication.
- 5. Use a natural collocation Original: made the highest selling record Suggested revision: reached its highest sales figure Why it matters: Reached its highest sales figure is the standard expression for a peak.
- 6. Use the correct unit Original: ten thousand sales Suggested revision: 10,000 copies sold Why it matters: The chart measures copies sold, so sales alone is an imprecise unit.
- 7. Use a direct verb Original: and then in subsequent years witnessed a slight drop Suggested revision: and then declined slightly in the subsequent years Why it matters: The revised verb gives sales a grammatically appropriate change over time.
- 8. Format the number clearly Original: over 9000 history books Suggested revision: over 9,000 history books Why it matters: A comma improves readability in a four-digit figure.
- 9. Make the phrase concise Original: each of these two genres Suggested revision: each genre Why it matters: Each genre expresses the same meaning more directly.
- 10. Add the relative comma Original: in 2008 which Suggested revision: in 2008, which Why it matters: A comma is needed before the non-defining relative clause.
- 11. Remove redundant wording Original: relatively higher Suggested revision: higher Why it matters: Higher already expresses a relative comparison.
- 12. Use the plotted year Original: previous year's sales Suggested revision: figures for 2006 Why it matters: The chart shows 2006 and 2008, so no value for the immediately preceding year is available.
Suggested Rewrites
- deviations changes
- for over
- with a sale volume with sales
- publication genre
- made the highest selling record reached its highest sales figure
- ten thousand sales 10,000 copies sold
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a clear overview and selects the most important trends and figures accurately, particularly the dominance and peak of history-book sales. The main weakness is uneven language control: several awkward lexical choices and malformed clauses make otherwise sound comparisons less polished. The highest-priority improvement is to express each comparison in a complete, precise sentence while retaining the strong data selection.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report accurately highlights the leading genre, overall directions, peak values, and final-year comparisons, with only limited detail on intermediate changes.
Add one concise comparison showing how the smaller categories changed across the intervening years.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overview appears early and the details progress logically by genre, although presenting everything in one paragraph reduces structural clarity.
Separate the overview from two grouped detail paragraphs, such as history versus the three lower-selling genres.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary range is sufficient for trends and comparisons, but expressions such as 'deviations,' 'made the highest selling record,' and 'overall progress' lack precision.
Use standard data-reporting collocations such as 'sales rose,' 'reached a peak,' and 'showed an overall increase.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence forms is used and meaning remains clear, but agreement, article, and clause-construction errors are noticeable throughout.
Edit malformed structures such as 'the former one was sale volume stood' into direct subject-verb comparisons.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the changes in sales of four different types of books from 2002 to 2012.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.