The line graph below shows how much people in four countries spent on purchasing books from 1995 to 2005. Money spent on Books
Sample Response
The illustration compares the amount spent on purchasing books between 1995 and 2005 by the citizens of four countries. Generally speaking, Germans spent the highest amount on books during this period and Austrian citizens’ spending went higher than Italians after 2002. According to the line graph, Germans spent 80 million US dollar for buying books in 1995 which was significantly higher than the amount spent by other nationalities. In this year Italians and French people disbursed 50 and 55 million respectively for the same purpose. Austrian people spent less than 30 million which was lower than half of the Germans spending for books. After 2 years, spending by those nationalities for purchasing books increased. In 1999, the expenditure by Germans for books reached to 90 million while it was 60 and 50 million for French and Italian. Expenses on books for Austrian remained the same as it was in 1995. However, after 2001, Austrian people started spending more on books and this amount exceeded the money spent by Italians in 2003, finally reaching to over 60 million in 2005. A similar amount was spent by French people in this year while Italians cost for books stood at 50 million. The highest payer on books in 2005 was Germany, accounting 95 million, which was considerably higher than other nations’ spending on books.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name the visual Original: The illustration Suggested revision: The line graph Why it matters: Naming the type of visual is more precise.
- 2. Plural noun Original: 80 million US dollar Suggested revision: 80 million US dollars Why it matters: Dollar should be plural after a number.
- 3. Natural verb Original: Italians and French people disbursed Suggested revision: Italians and French people spent Why it matters: Disbursed is too formal and unnatural here.
- 4. Time phrase Original: In this year Suggested revision: That year Why it matters: That year is the natural reference to 1995.
- 5. Nationality noun Original: Austrian people Suggested revision: Austrians Why it matters: Austrians is more concise and natural.
- 6. Comparison phrase Original: lower than half Suggested revision: less than half Why it matters: Use less than half for quantities.
- 7. Verb pattern Original: reached to 90 million Suggested revision: reached 90 million Why it matters: Reach does not need the preposition to.
- 8. Awkward phrase Original: Expenses on books for Austrian Suggested revision: Austrian spending on books Why it matters: The original phrase is unidiomatic and uses the wrong nationality form.
- 9. Possessive structure Original: Italians cost for books Suggested revision: Italian spending on books Why it matters: Cost cannot be used this way to mean expenditure by a group.
- 10. Natural phrase Original: highest payer on books Suggested revision: biggest spender on books Why it matters: Biggest spender is the natural phrase for this comparison.
- 11. Missing preposition Original: accounting 95 million Suggested revision: accounting for 95 million Why it matters: Account for requires for.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: Generally speaking, Germans spent the highest amount on books during this period and Austrian citizens’ spending went higher than Italians after 2002. Suggested revision: Overall, Germany had the highest spending throughout the period, while Austria rose sharply and overtook Italy after 2002. Why it matters: This keeps the overview accurate and uses clearer comparative language.
Suggested Rewrites
- The illustration The line graph
- 80 million US dollar 80 million US dollars
- Italians and French people disbursed Italians and French people spent
- In this year That year
- Austrian people Austrians
- lower than half less than half
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The report covers the main trends accurately: Germany remains highest, Austria rises sharply after 2001, France increases steadily, and Italy changes least. A few data choices could be more exact, but the visual information is well selected.
Add one clearer comparison of Austria's sharp rise with Italy's flatter trend, and keep all money figures consistently in millions of US dollars.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically sequenced from overview to details and generally easy to follow. It would benefit from clearer paragraphing and less chaining of figures in one long block.
Use a separate paragraph for Germany and France, and another for Italy and Austria, to make comparisons easier to scan.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary range is good, but several word choices are unnatural or too formal for the context, such as disbursed, highest payer, and expenses for Austrian.
Use natural reporting terms like spent, spending, expenditure, rose to, and overtook.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The grammar is mostly controlled, though there are recurring article, preposition, and plural errors.
Check countable nouns and prepositions in data phrases, especially dollars, spending on books, and reached, not reached to.