The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors.
Sample Response
The pie chart illustrates the career choices of Brighton University’s 2019 graduates, giving the percentages who worked in each of various sectors after finishing university. Overwhelmingly, industry and government were the most popular choices.
Just under half the students went into industry, with service industries attracting more Brighton graduates than any other sector by far — almost a third (33.0%). About half that number (16.3%) took jobs in manufacturing.
Politics and public service were the next most popular choice, accounting for nearly a fifth of graduates. Just over 12% went into politics and a further 5.6% chose the civil service. The other significant career choices were education (about 15%) and two others: transportation and warehousing, with 7.8%; and science and technology with 7.3%.
The least popular choices included work in the charitable sector and careers in sport, both of which were chosen by well under 1% of graduates. Finally, 2.8% entered work in other, unspecified, sectors.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a natural phrase Original: each of various sectors Suggested revision: the various sectors Why it matters: The original phrase is not idiomatic in this context.
- 2. Name the largest sectors Original: industry and government Suggested revision: service industries and manufacturing Why it matters: The chart's two largest individual sectors are service industries and manufacturing.
- 3. Separate chart categories Original: Just under half the students went into industry Suggested revision: Together, just under half of the graduates entered service industries or manufacturing Why it matters: The chart presents service industries and manufacturing as separate categories whose combined share is 49.3%.
- 4. Clarify the reference Original: About half that number Suggested revision: About half the service-industry figure Why it matters: Naming the comparison point makes the relationship between 33.0% and 16.3% immediately clear.
- 5. Use plural agreement Original: choice Suggested revision: choices Why it matters: The compound subject requires the plural noun “choices.”
- 6. Use the chart label Original: went into politics Suggested revision: entered politics and government Why it matters: The visual labels this 12.1% category “Politics & government,” not politics alone.
- 7. Match the category label Original: charitable Suggested revision: charity Why it matters: Using the chart's category name makes the reference more precise.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: The other significant career choices were education (about 15%) and two others: transportation and warehousing, with 7.8%; and science and technology with 7.3%. Suggested revision: Other sectors included education (14.7%), transportation and warehousing (7.8%), and science and technology (7.3%). Why it matters: This revision presents the three categories in a cleaner parallel list.
Suggested Rewrites
- each of various sectors the various sectors
- industry and government service industries and manufacturing
- Just under half the students went into industry Together, just under half of the graduates entered service industries or manufacturing
- About half that number About half the service-industry figure
- choice choices
- went into politics entered politics and government
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response provides a highly accurate and well-organised account, with a clear overview and precise coverage of virtually every sector. Its main limitation is that the overview groups service industries and manufacturing under ‘industry’ and combines politics with public service, slightly obscuring the chart’s individual categories; the priority is to name the largest and next-largest sectors directly while preserving the strong comparative detail.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and accurate figures cover virtually all sectors, with effective grouping and comparisons.
State explicitly that service industries was the largest individual sector and manufacturing second, rather than relying mainly on broader groupings.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the dominant sectors to smaller and least popular destinations, with cohesive paragraphing.
Keep category groupings fully parallel so each paragraph’s comparisons remain immediately transparent.
Lexical Resource
A flexible and precise range of vocabulary describes proportions, rankings, and sector choices naturally.
Prefer the chart’s exact sector labels over broad umbrella terms whenever individual rankings are being summarised.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is controlled accurately, with only minor agreement and phrasing slips.
Check singular-plural agreement in phrases such as ‘the next most popular choice’ after a compound subject.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.