The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010.
Sample Response
The bar graph illustrates the ratio of British citizens' contributions to charity based on their age in two different years - 1990 and 2010. Overall, more British gave money to charity in 1990 than they did in 2010. However, people over 50 years old did just the opposite and a fewer younger Britsh donated to charity than the adults did both in these years. In 1990, 42% British between the age of 36 and 50 donated to charity and this ratio was the highest. In contrast, only around 17% youth from the 18-25 age-group contributed to the philanthropy works which was the lowest. After two decades, both these percentages declined significantly, 35% and 7% respectively. While donation participation by the people up to 50 years old decreased in 2010, it sored among the people over 50 years old. In 2010, welfare donation by 51-56 age-group was 38%, a raise than 1990 and it was 35% by the 65+ age group, also an increase.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Describe donor percentage Original: ratio of British citizens' contributions Suggested revision: percentage of British people donating Why it matters: The chart measures the proportion of people who donated, not the ratio of contribution amounts.
- 2. Use age-group term Original: based on their age Suggested revision: by age group Why it matters: By age group matches the chart's categorical organisation more precisely.
- 3. Streamline year phrase Original: two different years - 1990 and 2010 Suggested revision: 1990 and 2010 Why it matters: The two years can be named directly without the spaced hyphen construction.
- 4. State opposite trend Original: did just the opposite Suggested revision: showed the opposite pattern Why it matters: This phrase identifies a data pattern more precisely in an academic report.
- 5. Remove article before fewer Original: a fewer Suggested revision: fewer Why it matters: Fewer already functions as the comparative determiner and does not take a.
- 6. Correct British spelling Original: Britsh Suggested revision: British people Why it matters: British is misspelled and needs a noun when referring to people.
- 7. Clarify age comparison Original: than the adults did both in these years Suggested revision: than older adults in both years Why it matters: The revised phrase makes the comparison concise and grammatically complete.
- 8. Add of after percentage Original: 42% British Suggested revision: 42% of British people Why it matters: A percentage requires of before the population group.
- 9. Use plural ages Original: between the age of 36 and 50 Suggested revision: aged 36 to 50 Why it matters: Aged 36 to 50 is the concise standard form for an age range.
- 10. Use proportion term Original: ratio Suggested revision: proportion Why it matters: Proportion is appropriate for the percentage of people in one group.
- 11. Complete percentage phrase Original: 17% youth Suggested revision: 17% of young adults Why it matters: Use of after the percentage and a countable noun phrase for the group.
- 12. Use charity term Original: the philanthropy works Suggested revision: charity Why it matters: The chart concerns donating to charity, while philanthropy works is unnatural and overly broad.
Suggested Rewrites
- ratio of British citizens' contributions percentage of British people donating
- based on their age by age group
- two different years - 1990 and 2010 1990 and 2010
- did just the opposite showed the opposite pattern
- a fewer fewer
- Britsh British people
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a relevant overview and selects the highest and lowest figures effectively, including the contrasting change among older donors. Its main limitation is uneven precision: the 51–65 group is mislabelled as 51–56, the 26–35 category receives no detailed coverage, and several values or trend words are approximate or overstated. Prioritise checking every age label and reporting balanced comparisons across all groups.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and several key comparisons are provided, but one age range is mislabelled, one group is omitted from the details, and minor numerical inaccuracies remain.
Cover all five age groups and copy each age label and percentage directly from the chart before comparing the two years.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves logically from an overview to selected 1990 and 2010 details, but the single paragraph and compressed final comparisons weaken clarity.
Use separate overview and detail paragraphs, grouping the three younger declines apart from the two older increases.
Lexical Resource
Some useful charity and trend vocabulary is attempted, but frequent spelling errors and unnatural choices such as ‘philanthropy works’ and ‘a raise’ reduce precision.
Prefer standard terms including ‘donated to charity’, ‘donation rate’, ‘rose’, and ‘increase’, and proofread spelling carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses some complex structures, but frequent article, agreement, comparison, and noun-phrase errors make several sentences awkward.
Revise percentage phrases to use ‘of’, control comparative forms, and split overloaded sentences into clear independent comparisons.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.