The table below shows the changes in some household types in Canada from 1984 to 2020.
Sample Response
The table shows the changes in household types in Canada at 10-year intervals from 1984 to 2014 and again in 2020. There has been a steady increase in households without children during this period. One-person households doubled from 6% in 1984 to 12% in 2020, whilst the percentage of couples with no children rose from 19% in 1984 to 23% in 2004 and to 25% in 2014. However, this figure levelled out in 2020. Even bigger changes have occurred when it comes to couples with dependent children. This category shrank from 52% in 1984 to 36% in 2020. In contrast, the percentage of lone parents trebled over the same period, rising from 4% in 1984 to 12% in 2020. The percentage of families with non-dependent children has remained more stable: 10% in 1984, rising only 1% over the next 20 years before falling to 9% in 2014. In conclusion, the table shows definite patterns of change within the Canadian family over the past 40 years, in particular the decline in the traditional. model of one couple with dependent children.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify the reference Original: this figure Suggested revision: the share of couples without children Why it matters: Naming the category makes the reference immediately clear.
- 2. Use precise comparison Original: Even bigger changes have occurred Suggested revision: An even larger change occurred Why it matters: This wording is more precise and appropriately formal for comparing the size of changes.
- 3. Describe the share Original: This category shrank Suggested revision: This category's share fell Why it matters: The table records a falling percentage rather than a physical category shrinking.
- 4. Correct the time span Original: past 40 years Suggested revision: 36-year period Why it matters: The table covers 1984 to 2020, which is a 36-year period.
- 5. Remove stray full stop Original: traditional. model Suggested revision: traditional model Why it matters: The full stop incorrectly separates an adjective from the noun it modifies.
- 6. Use a generic article Original: one Suggested revision: a Why it matters: The indefinite article is more natural when describing a general household type.
- 7. Sentence rewrite Original: There has been a steady increase in households without children during this period. Suggested revision: Both one-person households and couples without children increased overall, but their shares were unchanged from 2014 to 2020. Why it matters: Both relevant categories level off in the final interval, so the increase was not steady throughout.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: The percentage of families with non-dependent children has remained more stable: 10% in 1984, rising only 1% over the next 20 years before falling to 9% in 2014. Suggested revision: The share of families with non-dependent children was more stable: it rose from 10% in 1984 to 11% in 2004, then fell to 9% in 2014 and remained there in 2020. Why it matters: The revision reports a percentage-point change and includes the unchanged 2020 value.
- 9. Separate overview and details Suggested revision: Separate the overview from the supporting data, then group the rising and declining household types for clearer comparisons. Why it matters: A distinct overview and grouped detail paragraphs would make the progression easier to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- this figure the share of couples without children
- Even bigger changes have occurred An even larger change occurred
- This category shrank This category's share fell
- past 40 years 36-year period
- traditional. model traditional model
- one a
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response selects all major household categories accurately and communicates the dominant shifts clearly, especially the fall in couples with dependent children and the growth of smaller or child-free households. Its main limitation is presentation: the entire report forms one block, and the concluding sentence contains a distracting punctuation slip. Organise the overview and details into clear paragraphs while keeping the same precise comparisons.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report provides a clear overview and accurately covers every household category, with well-selected comparisons across the period.
Retain this broad coverage while making the levelling-off patterns for one-person and child-free couple households explicit in the overview.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the overall trend to contrasting household categories, with cohesive referencing used effectively.
Separate the overview and detailed comparisons into purposeful paragraphs to make the structure immediately visible.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise range, including terms such as doubled, levelled out, shrank, and trebled, describes the trends naturally.
Maintain this precision while replacing the slightly conversational phrase when it comes to with a more concise academic transition.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are handled accurately throughout, and the isolated punctuation error does not impede meaning.
Proofread the final sentence to remove the stray full stop between traditional and model.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below shows the changes in some household types in Canada from 1984 to 2020.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.