The diagram below shows the product life-cycle of the car.
Sample Response
The diagram describes the life cycle of a car, starting with mining of raw materials and ending with scrapping of unrecyclable parts.
It is clear that recycling of materials and parts plays a big role in the process.
The starting place of the cycle is the mining of the raw materials, which are then used to manufacture car components or delivered straight to the factory. This then leads to the cars being manufactured and in turn sold, usually through dealerships, and used. It is stated that on average, a car has about three owners, and during the car’s use, the car gets serviced and repaired.
Once the cars have been used up to their capacity and they do not work properly anymore, then they are sold for scrap. If the still functioning or reusable parts and materials can be recycled, they can either be formed into components again, or delivered back to a factory for re-use. The life cycle of the car then begins again. All the parts that cannot be recycled are scrapped and this constitutes the end of car’s life.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add definite article Original: starting with mining Suggested revision: starting with the mining Why it matters: The specific stage in the diagram requires the definite article before mining.
- 2. Use formal phrasing Original: recycling of materials and parts plays a big role Suggested revision: recycling materials and parts plays a central role Why it matters: Plays a central role is more precise and appropriately formal for a process description.
- 3. Use process term Original: place Suggested revision: point Why it matters: Starting point is the natural term for the first stage of a process.
- 4. Clarify the reference Original: This then leads Suggested revision: Delivery to the factory then leads Why it matters: Naming the preceding step removes the vague reference created by This.
- 5. Remove empty reporting phrase Original: It is stated that Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The diagram directly supplies the information, so this reporting phrase is unnecessary.
- 6. Use natural process wording Original: used up to their capacity Suggested revision: used until they reach the end of their useful lives Why it matters: The original phrase is not a natural way to describe the end of a car's use stage.
- 7. Remove unsupported condition Original: and they do not work properly anymore Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The diagram moves from use to sale for scrap without stating that malfunction is required.
- 8. Add possessive article Original: end of car’s life Suggested revision: end of a car’s life Why it matters: A singular countable noun needs an article in this general reference.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: If the still functioning or reusable parts and materials can be recycled, they can either be formed into components again, or delivered back to a factory for re-use. Suggested revision: Reusable parts and materials are recycled and then either formed into new components or delivered back to factories for reuse. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the faulty modifier and presents the two recycling routes clearly.
Suggested Rewrites
- starting with mining starting with the mining
- recycling of materials and parts plays a big role recycling materials and parts plays a central role
- place point
- This then leads Delivery to the factory then leads
- It is stated that Delete
- used up to their capacity used until they reach the end of their useful lives
Why this response received Band 9.0
The response gives a comprehensive, logically sequenced account of the car’s life cycle and clearly highlights recycling as the central cyclical feature. The only meaningful limitation is occasional awkward phrasing, particularly around a car being “used up to its capacity.” Prioritising more natural process collocations and a few article refinements would make an already highly accurate description fully polished.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All major stages, branches, feedback loops, and the final disposal of unrecyclable parts are accurately and comprehensively described.
Retain this complete coverage while continuing to distinguish the recycling loop clearly from the terminal disposal stage.
Coherence and Cohesion
The description moves coherently from raw-material extraction through manufacture and use to recycling or disposal, with clear paragraphing.
Make the transition into the post-use stage even more concise by avoiding repeated sequencing words such as “then.”
Lexical Resource
The response uses a strong range of precise process vocabulary, though a few expressions are less natural than the surrounding language.
Replace “used up to their capacity” with a more idiomatic phrase such as “reached the end of their usable life.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex passive and relative-clause structures are handled with strong control, with only minor article and phrasing slips.
Check article use in phrases such as “the mining of raw materials” and “the end of a car’s life.”
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows the product life-cycle of the car.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.