The table below gives information on the proportion of carbohydrates, protein and fat in three different diets.
Sample Response
The pie chart reflects the number of carbohydrates, protein, and fat in three several diets. The data is calibrated in percentage.
Overall, it is immediately apparent from the chart that carbohydrates accounted for the majority of contributions among the three diets, while protein quantity accounted for most on an average day.
In detail, the maximum ratio of carbohydrates is available in a healthy diet for sport at 60%. Similarly, with regard to other categories, a healthy diet and average diet accounted for nearly all of the outgoings, at 50%, and declined by 10% in the average diet. Moreover, the number of fat is considerably similar in both average, and healthy diets are one-fifth of the total value.
Surprisingly, this ratio plunged by 5% in a healthy diet for sport. Furthermore, on an average diet, the quantity of protein is excessively high, with shares at 40% as compared with other diet sections. It is interesting to note that almost one-third of protein mass is found in a healthy diet, and this value plummeted by 5% of protein noticed in a healthy diet for a sports field.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the plural Original: chart Suggested revision: charts Why it matters: The visual contains three separate pie charts.
- 2. Describe proportions Original: number Suggested revision: proportions Why it matters: The charts report percentages rather than counts.
- 3. Fix the determiner Original: several Suggested revision: different Why it matters: 'Three' cannot be combined with 'several' in this noun phrase.
- 4. Use accurate wording Original: calibrated in percentage Suggested revision: given as percentages Why it matters: Data are presented as percentages, while 'calibrated' is inappropriate here.
- 5. Correct the overview Original: majority of contributions among the three diets Suggested revision: largest share in the healthy and sports diets Why it matters: Carbohydrates are not a majority in the average diet, where they equal protein at 40%.
- 6. Show the equal shares Original: protein quantity accounted for most on an average day Suggested revision: protein and carbohydrates had equal shares in the average diet Why it matters: The average diet contains 40% protein and 40% carbohydrates.
- 7. Use chart vocabulary Original: maximum ratio Suggested revision: highest proportion Why it matters: 'Highest proportion' is the standard expression for the largest percentage.
- 8. Use natural wording Original: available Suggested revision: found Why it matters: A proportion is found or shown in a diet, not available in it.
- 9. Use the defined label Original: a healthy diet for sport at 60% Suggested revision: the healthy diet for sport, at 60% Why it matters: The named diet requires the definite article, and the percentage phrase should be set off with a comma.
- 10. Fix the preposition Original: on an average diet Suggested revision: in the average diet Why it matters: A nutrient proportion is contained in a diet, so 'in' is the correct preposition.
- 11. Report objectively Original: quantity of protein is excessively high, with shares at 40% Suggested revision: proportion of protein is highest, at 40% Why it matters: 'Excessively high' is subjective, while the chart objectively shows the largest protein share.
- 12. Name the comparison Original: as compared with other diet sections Suggested revision: compared with the other diets Why it matters: The chart compares diets, not sections of a diet.
Suggested Rewrites
- chart charts
- number proportions
- several different
- calibrated in percentage given as percentages
- majority of contributions among the three diets largest share in the healthy and sports diets
- protein quantity accounted for most on an average day protein and carbohydrates had equal shares in the average diet
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response covers all three nutrients across the diets and includes most key percentages, so the central comparisons can be recovered. Its effectiveness is reduced by an imprecise overview, unclear references, and frequent collocational and grammatical errors that make several comparisons difficult to follow. Prioritise a fully accurate overview, then express each comparison in short, controlled sentences using percentage, proportion, and diet consistently.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response reports the proportions for all three nutrients and diets with generally accurate figures, but the overview expresses the dominant patterns imprecisely.
State clearly that carbohydrates rise from 40% to 60%, fat falls from 20% to 15%, and protein is joint-highest only in the average diet.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction, overview, and details form a recognisable progression, though vague references and mechanical linkers sometimes obscure connections between figures.
Group the details consistently by nutrient and replace this ratio or this value with the specific nutrient and diet being compared.
Lexical Resource
There is an evident attempt to vary vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate choices such as outgoings, excessively high, and sports field reduce precision.
Prefer accurate core terms such as proportion, percentage, nutrient, average diet, healthy diet, and healthy diet for sport.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex structures, but frequent agreement, article, and sentence-construction errors sometimes make relationships between data difficult to parse.
Use shorter comparison sentences with controlled subject-verb agreement before combining ideas into more complex structures.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below gives information on the proportion of carbohydrates, protein and fat in three different diets.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.