The charts summarise the weight measurements of people living in Charlestown in 1955 and 2015.
Sample Response
The bar charts show the difference weight categories of dwellers of Charlestown over a period of 70 years.
From an overall perspective, it can be seen from the charts, in 1955, most of the people of Charlestown had ideal weight in every age group. On the other hand, people had become more obese in the year 2015.
At the first glance, in 2015, in the age of 20-29, people who had ideal weight at 70% as same in 1955; however, around 2% of people became obese in that age group in 2015. In age between 30-39, almost 60% of citizens had ideal weight in 1955, and it declined slightly to 50% in 2015. Moreover, in the same age group, under weighted people were at 20%, but it fell down dramatically at almost 2% in 2015. With regards to obese, it started to grow in 20-29 age, and gradually increased in that figure with respect to growing age of citizens in the year 2015, while in 1955, the figure of obese was negligible as compared to in 2015.
Moving on further, the percentage of overweighted people was approximately 34% for 30-39 age range, almost 23% in 40-49 and around 38% by elderly people in the year 2015. In contrast, it was at around 20% for 30-39 and 40-49 age group in 1955. In 2015, almost half of the inhabitants of Charlestown were obese, and around one-third of people were overweighted, also one-fifth were under-weighted, while only 5% was obese and majority of citizens had ideal weight and almost 60% were under-weighted.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use adjective form Original: difference Suggested revision: different Why it matters: Different is the adjective required to modify weight categories.
- 2. Use natural noun Original: dwellers Suggested revision: residents Why it matters: Residents is the more natural term for people living in a town.
- 3. Correct time span Original: 70 Suggested revision: 60 Why it matters: The interval from 1955 to 2015 is 60 years.
- 4. Describe prevalence Original: people had become more obese Suggested revision: obesity was more prevalent Why it matters: The charts compare the prevalence of weight categories across populations rather than changes to the same individuals.
- 5. Form age range Original: In age between 30-39 Suggested revision: Among people aged 30–39 Why it matters: Among people aged is the correct structure for referring to an age group.
- 6. Use category term Original: under weighted people Suggested revision: underweight people Why it matters: Underweight is the single-word adjective used for this category.
- 7. Describe a proportion Original: were at 20% Suggested revision: accounted for 20% Why it matters: Accounted for is the appropriate expression for a group's share of the total.
- 8. Correct value and preposition Original: fell down dramatically at almost 2% Suggested revision: fell dramatically to about 1% Why it matters: The 2015 underweight segment for ages 30–39 is about 1%, and values fall to a level.
- 9. Use noun form Original: With regards to obese Suggested revision: Regarding obesity Why it matters: Obesity is the noun required after regarding.
- 10. Clarify subject and range Original: it started to grow in 20-29 age Suggested revision: the rate began to rise from the 20–29 age group Why it matters: The revision gives the clause a clear subject and expresses the starting age group correctly.
- 11. Express age trend Original: gradually increased in that figure with respect to growing age of citizens Suggested revision: increased steadily with age Why it matters: This concise phrase clearly describes the upward pattern across older groups.
- 12. Use correct noun phrase Original: the figure of obese Suggested revision: the obesity rate Why it matters: Obese describes people, whereas obesity names the category measured in the chart.
Suggested Rewrites
- difference different
- dwellers residents
- 70 60
- people had become more obese obesity was more prevalent
- In age between 30-39 Among people aged 30–39
- under weighted people underweight people
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response identifies the broad shift from predominantly ideal weights in 1955 toward greater obesity in 2015 and includes several accurate age-group comparisons. However, coverage is uneven, some percentages are inaccurate, and the final sentence conflates categories, years, and age groups, making the comparison unclear. Prioritize selecting a few reliable cross-year patterns and stating each figure with its exact age group and year.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview captures the main historical change, but important age-group patterns are omitted and several later figures are inaccurate or ambiguously attributed.
Compare the same age groups across both years and verify the overweight, obese, and underweight percentages before reporting them.
Coherence and Cohesion
Basic paragraphing and progression are visible, but overloaded sentences and the confused final comparison weaken logical clarity.
Organize details by age range or year and give each comparison in a separate, clearly referenced sentence.
Lexical Resource
There is some useful comparison vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate forms and collocations such as difference weight categories and overweighted reduce precision.
Use the correct category nouns and adjectives consistently: different weight categories, underweight, overweight, and obese.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex structures, but frequent errors in articles, prepositions, agreement, and clause construction sometimes obscure relationships.
Build shorter comparison sentences with a clear subject, verb, age group, year, and percentage before combining ideas.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts summarise the weight measurements of people living in Charlestown in 1955 and 2015.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.