The table below presents the number of children ever born to women aged 40-44 years in Australia for each year the information was collected since 1981.
Sample Response
The table shows the number of children born to women aged 40–44 years in Australia in 1981, 1986, 1996 and 2001.
In 1981, women aged 40-44 years were only marginally more likely to have had two children than three children (29% vs 27.4%) or four or more children (27.6%). Similarly, by 1986, women of this age were considerably more likely to have given birth to two children than three children (35.6% vs 27%) or four or more children (18.9%).
In 1996 and 2006, the proportions of women aged 40-44 years who had given birth to two children were almost identical, though the proportions who had given birth to three children or to four or more children had decreased. In these more recent periods, women were more likely to have had two children than three or more children – a trend that was most marked in the most recent period (38.2% vs 24.6% in 1996; 38.3% vs 21.5% in 2006).
While two-child families now predominate, the number of women who had given birth to only one child increased progressively from 7.6% in 1981 to 13.2% in 2006.
In 1981, similar proportions of women aged in their early forties were childless or had given birth to only one child (8.5% and 7.6% respectively). By 2006, 15.9% of women were childless and 13.2% had given birth to only one child.
Overall, by age 40-44 years, the proportion of women who have had three or more children has fallen considerably since the 1980s, while the proportions who have had no children, or only one or two children has increased.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Preserve the table measure Original: children born to women Suggested revision: children ever born to women Why it matters: The table records each woman's lifetime number of children by the stated age, not births occurring in each listed year.
- 2. Correct the final year Original: 2001 Suggested revision: 2006 Why it matters: The last column of data is for 2006.
- 3. Use a direct transition Original: Similarly, by 1986 Suggested revision: By 1986 Why it matters: The size of the difference changes substantially, so similarly does not express the relationship precisely.
- 4. Match the cited category Original: two children than three or more children – Suggested revision: two children than three children – Why it matters: The cited figures of 24.6% and 21.5% represent the three-children category alone, not all women with three or more children.
- 5. Anchor the time reference Original: two-child families now predominate Suggested revision: having two children was most common in 2006 Why it matters: The latest observation is 2006, so now is not an accurate time reference.
- 6. Use the measured quantity Original: number Suggested revision: proportion Why it matters: The values are percentages, so the response is describing a proportion rather than a number.
- 7. Use the observed period Original: has fallen considerably since the 1980s Suggested revision: fell considerably between 1981 and 2006 Why it matters: The revision confines the trend to the dates actually displayed in the table.
- 8. Fix subject agreement Original: has Suggested revision: have Why it matters: The plural subject proportions requires the plural auxiliary have.
- 9. Consolidate related trends Suggested revision: Combine the one-child trend with the following paragraph on childlessness and one-child households, removing the repeated endpoint figures. Why it matters: Keeping these closely related smaller-family trends together would reduce repetition and strengthen progression.
Suggested Rewrites
- children born to women children ever born to women
- 2001 2006
- Similarly, by 1986 By 1986
- two children than three or more children – two children than three children –
- two-child families now predominate having two children was most common in 2006
- number proportion
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is comprehensive, well organised and linguistically precise, with a strong overview and accurate reporting of most individual percentages. The principal weakness is data accuracy: it introduces 2001 instead of 2006 and twice labels the percentage for exactly three children as the combined figure for three or more. The highest priority is to verify category aggregation and year labels before finalising otherwise sophisticated comparisons.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report provides a clear overview and detailed, mostly accurate coverage, but it misstates one year and incorrectly treats the three-children values as totals for three or more children.
Check every year label and add the three-children and four-or-more categories before making combined comparisons.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is sequenced logically across the periods, with controlled referencing and well-focused paragraphs that build toward a clear overview.
Place the overview immediately after the introduction so the main pattern frames the detailed comparisons from the outset.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise and flexible, with effective terms such as marginally, proportions, progressively and predominate.
Maintain this precision by distinguishing number from proportion whenever the table reports percentages.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, with only an isolated agreement error in the final sentence.
Proofread coordinated plural subjects so proportions correctly takes have increased rather than has increased.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below presents the number of children ever born to women aged 40-44 years in Australia for each year the information was collected since 1981.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.