The chart below gives information about the amount of time children spend with their parents.
This response is estimated at Band 7.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The bar chart compares how much time children in five age groupschildren of multiple age groups spend with their parents, showingas displayed by the amountamounts of time that children spend with each parent alone and both parentsboth parents together.
In general, children of all age groups spend more time with their mother than their father alone throughout the week. At weekendsOn the weekends, children’s time with parents increases and most of this time is spentthis time is predominantly spent with both parents, rather than with either parent alonerather than with each parent separately.
On weekdaysFor the weekdays, children typically spend around 5–6 hours with their mother alonearound 7 hours with their mother alone. Infants, in particular, have almost 8 hours which strictly involve their mother, which is more or less the same amount of time for children in the 2-3 and 6-7 age group in this regard. The time spent exclusively with their father, on the other hand, is relativelyrather limited, which is highest at just over 2 hoursat most above 2 hours for the 4-5 age group and lowest at about 1 hour for the 2–3 and 6–7 age groupsat least 1 hour for the 2-3 age group.
At weekendsRegarding the weekends, the amount of time that children spend with both parents, which is no more than about 2.5 hours on weekdaysno more than 2 hours during the weekdays, becomes roughly 5.5 hours on average on weekends. This is at the expense of the amount of time that is spent exclusively with mothers and fathers, fallinglowering to an average of about 3.4 hours3.8 hours and sub-1 hour respectively. Finally, children from the age of 2 to 7 spend an increased total of around 10 hours with their parents on weekends.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is clearly organised and provides a useful overview contrasting weekdays with weekends, especially the greater role of both parents at weekends. Its main weakness is data accuracy: several weekday figures are read from cumulative bar heights rather than the individual mother-only segments, and the weekday both-parent maximum is understated. Prioritise reading each stacked segment separately and verify every selected value against the scale before making comparisons.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview identifies the main weekday-weekend contrast, but several weekday values confuse cumulative bar heights with individual segments.
Read each coloured segment separately and correct the mother-only figures and the weekday maximum for time with both parents.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from an overview to weekday and weekend details, with generally clear referencing and comparison.
Make a few long comparative sentences more direct so that each numerical relationship is immediately clear.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently flexible range describes comparison and change, although expressions such as 'strictly involve' and 'sub-1 hour' are awkward.
Use more natural statistical phrases such as 'spent with the mother alone' and 'less than one hour.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are mostly controlled, with only occasional awkward clauses and agreement choices that do not impede meaning.
Simplify relative clauses such as 'which is at most above 2 hours' and check singular-plural agreement in age-group references.