The chart below gives information about the amount of time children spend with their parents.
This response is estimated at Band 7.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The stacked bar charts delineate how much time children of various age groups spend with their parents. The initial impression from the charts is that whilst children spend more time with both parents at weekends, mothers allocate more time for child-rearing during weekdays. It can also be seen across the two charts that fathers (excluding the ‘with both’ classification) generally spendspent the least time with their children.
During weekdays, children aged 0–1babies aged from 0 to 1 years spent the least amount of time (2 hours) with the fathers, the most time with the mothers (roughly 5.8 hours), and around 1.2 hours with both. Similar patternspictures are evident in the remaining age groups; around 0.8–2 hours are spent with fathersaround 1.5-2 hours are spent with the fathers, approximately 6 hours with the mothers, and about 1–2.5 hours with both parents1-2 hours with both.
A different pattern is evidentA relatively different pattern could be observed regarding the child-rearing time at weekends. Across the age brackets, the fathers still set aside the least time with their kids (approximately 0.25–1.75 hoursonly a negligible 0.25-0.5 hours), mothers’ time allocationmom’s time allocation is around 3-4 hours, and both parents together spend about 5–6.5 hours with their childrenput from 5 to 6 hours into caring for child kids.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response provides a clear overview and an effective weekday-versus-weekend structure, accurately capturing the dominant roles of mothers on weekdays and both parents at weekends. The main weakness is imprecise reporting of several component values, particularly fathers’ weekend time across age groups; prioritise checking the full range of bars and supporting each overview point with representative, accurate comparisons.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The key weekday and weekend patterns are selected clearly, but some ranges are inaccurate, most notably the stated 0.25–0.5 weekend hours with fathers.
Check each age-group segment before generalising and cite representative exceptions, such as the higher father-only figure for children aged 4–5 at weekends.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised into overview, weekday detail, and weekend detail, with clear progression between the two charts.
Make the final comparison easier to follow by separating the three parent categories into two well-linked sentences.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic-specific language describes allocation and patterns, though informal or awkward choices such as “mom” and “caring for child kids” reduce precision.
Maintain a formal register and edit for collocation and repetition, using consistent terms such as “mothers,” “fathers,” and “children.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex sentences are generally well controlled, although the final sentence has faulty coordination and an inaccurate noun phrase.
Avoid joining several independent comparisons with commas; use separate sentences or controlled parallel clauses for clearer grammar.