Chorleywood is a village near London whose population has increased steadily since the middle of the nineteenth century. The map below shows the development of the village.
Sample Response
The illustration delineates how the development of Chorleywood village in London took place from 1868 to 1994, over a period of 125 years. Generally speaking, development works in this rural area proceeded much rapidly during 1970 to 1994 than that or previous decades. As the graph suggests, improvement in Chorleywood village was limited during the 19th century when area surrounded the Chorleywood station witnessed some development works. The railways were introduced in 1909 and it went across the station area and formed the ground for a wider development and constructions between 1922 and 1970, end of which the motorway was established in this village. The village went through rapid developments between 1970 and 1994 and had a wider roadway at this time. It is worth noticing that development and constructions in Chorleywood were guided by the transportation facilities as the junction areas witnessed a faster and large-scale progress than other areas. The park and the Golf course are in the middle of the village and train, road and motorways formed a hash (#) like road system in Chorleywood.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Location accuracy Original: in London Suggested revision: near London Why it matters: The task says Chorleywood is near London, not in London.
- 2. Natural noun Original: development works Suggested revision: development Why it matters: Development is the usual uncountable noun for this map.
- 3. Comparative form Original: much rapidly Suggested revision: much more rapidly Why it matters: The comparative adverb needs more.
- 4. Time range Original: during 1970 to 1994 Suggested revision: from 1970 to 1994 Why it matters: Use from...to for a date range.
- 5. Unclear comparison Original: than that or previous decades Suggested revision: than in previous decades Why it matters: This makes the comparison grammatical and clear.
- 6. Article and phrasing Original: when area surrounded Suggested revision: when the area around Why it matters: The noun area needs an article and around is more natural here.
- 7. Map label Original: The railways were introduced in 1909 Suggested revision: The railway was built in 1909 Why it matters: The map labels one railway line built in 1909.
- 8. Route verb Original: it went across Suggested revision: it ran across Why it matters: Ran across is more natural for a railway line on a map.
- 9. Time clause Original: end of which Suggested revision: at the end of which Why it matters: The phrase needs at the before end.
- 10. Formal map wording Original: hash (#) like road system Suggested revision: grid-like transport network Why it matters: This is more formal and suitable for Academic Task 1.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: The illustration delineates how the development of Chorleywood village in London took place from 1868 to 1994, over a period of 125 years. Suggested revision: The map shows how Chorleywood, a village near London, developed between 1868 and 1994. Why it matters: This is concise and corrects the location wording.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: Generally speaking, development works in this rural area proceeded much rapidly during 1970 to 1994 than that or previous decades. Suggested revision: Overall, development expanded much more rapidly from 1970 to 1994 than in the earlier periods. Why it matters: This fixes the comparative structure and time expression.
Suggested Rewrites
- in London near London
- development works development
- much rapidly much more rapidly
- during 1970 to 1994 from 1970 to 1994
- than that or previous decades than in previous decades
- when area surrounded when the area around
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response captures the main pattern that development expanded more rapidly after 1970 and was connected to transport routes. It is less accurate about the earliest development near the station, because the station and railway were built later, and it gives only limited detail about the four development periods.
Describe each shaded period in relation to the main road, railway, and motorway, and avoid implying the station area existed in the 19th century.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a clear overview and mostly logical progression from early to later development. Some sentences are long and overloaded, which makes relationships between transport and expansion harder to follow.
Use separate sentences for the early settlement, railway-era growth, and motorway-era expansion.
Lexical Resource
The response uses relevant map vocabulary, but development works, wider roadway, and hash like road system are awkward for a formal map report.
Use natural map terms such as development, settlement, transport routes, railway line, motorway, and road network.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is generally understandable but contains article errors, comparative errors, and awkward clause structures.
Revise comparatives and time expressions, especially much more rapidly, from 1970 to 1994, and the area around.