The chart and graph below give information about sales and share prices for Coca-Cola.
Sample Response
The pie chart depicts the percentage of Coca-Cola’s sales in 5 different markets, while the line graph illustrates the share price over six years, commencing from 1996.
Overall, North America was Coca-Cola’s biggest market in 2000, and this company’s share price fluctuated significantly from 1996 to 2001.
It is evident that North Americans bought a huge volume of Coca-Cola’s products, generating 30.4% amongst all. Subsequently, Latin America was reported to be the second-largest market, with almost a quarter of the total sales. This was followed by 20.5% and 16.4% in Europe and Asia respectively. In contrast, Africa and Middle East countries were not successful markets for Coca-Cola due to its low percentages of sales, only 7 per cent.
Regarding the firm’s share price, it was approximately $40 per share in 1996, hitting its lowest point in 6 years. Two years later, this brand’s trading price on the share market witnessed a significant increase, almost twice at the starting point and reached its peak at $80. After 1998, the share price decreased dramatically until the year 2000 (not more than $50). However, this trend changed and climbed back to nearly $60 per share at the end of the period.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the chart category Original: 5 different markets Suggested revision: five regions Why it matters: The pie chart divides sales volume by geographic region rather than by five separate markets.
- 2. Remove false sequencing Original: Subsequently, Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The figures are categories from one year, so this time-sequence connector is misleading.
- 3. Correct the region name Original: Africa and Middle East countries Suggested revision: Africa and the Middle East Why it matters: The chart treats Africa and the Middle East as one named region, not as a group of countries modified this way.
- 4. Report the data neutrally Original: were not successful markets for Coca-Cola due to its low percentages of sales Suggested revision: formed Coca-Cola's smallest market, accounting for Why it matters: The chart supports a smallest-share comparison but does not establish commercial success or its cause.
- 5. Give the plotted value Original: not more than $50 Suggested revision: about $45 Why it matters: The graph shows the 2000 low below the $50 gridline, at roughly $45.
- 6. Give climbing a subject Original: this trend changed and climbed back Suggested revision: the price then climbed back Why it matters: A trend can change, but the share price is the quantity that climbs.
- 7. Name the measured quantity Original: percentage of Coca-Cola’s sales Suggested revision: distribution of Coca-Cola’s unit-case sales Why it matters: The visual measures unit-case sales volume rather than an unspecified percentage of sales.
- 8. Use a natural time phrase Original: commencing from 1996 Suggested revision: beginning in 1996 Why it matters: Beginning in is the natural preposition pattern for the start of a time series.
- 9. Use precise comparison Original: biggest market Suggested revision: largest regional market Why it matters: Largest regional market states the chart comparison more precisely.
- 10. Streamline the reference Original: this company’s share price Suggested revision: the company's share price Why it matters: The definite reference is clearer and less repetitive after Coca-Cola has already been named.
- 11. Use the exact figure Original: with almost a quarter of the total sales Suggested revision: at 25.7% of total sales Why it matters: The chart supplies a precise share for Latin America that can replace the approximation.
- 12. Clarify the comparison Original: This was followed by Suggested revision: Europe and Asia accounted for Why it matters: Naming both regions removes the unclear singular reference and directly introduces their two values.
Suggested Rewrites
- 5 different markets five regions
- Subsequently, Delete
- Africa and Middle East countries Africa and the Middle East
- were not successful markets for Coca-Cola due to its low percentages of sales formed Coca-Cola's smallest market, accounting for
- not more than $50 about $45
- this trend changed and climbed back the price then climbed back
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its clear organization and generally accurate selection of the main sales proportions, peak share price, and broad movement over time. The main limitation is that the line-graph coverage compresses several fluctuations and uses a few imprecise descriptions, while awkward collocations and sentence control occasionally reduce precision. Prioritize tracing the share-price changes more completely and expressing comparisons with natural, exact language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report presents a clear overview and accurately covers the regional proportions and principal share-price changes, though some intermediate fluctuations are compressed or omitted.
Describe the intervening rises and falls more selectively but explicitly, and distinguish exact chart values from approximate ones.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically divided between the two visuals, and progression from overview to supporting detail is consistently easy to follow.
Reduce slightly mechanical sequencing and strengthen links between adjacent figures by making direct comparisons within each data paragraph.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of topic vocabulary, but several collocations, including generating 30.4% amongst all and almost twice at the starting point, are awkward.
Prefer established data-description phrases such as accounted for, nearly doubled from, fell to, and recovered to.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentence forms is used with generally clear control, although some agreement, comparison, and clause-joining errors remain noticeable.
Proofread comparative structures and ensure coordinated verbs share a grammatically complete subject and form.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart and graph below give information about sales and share prices for Coca-Cola.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.