The diagrams below show a comparison between two road tunnels in two Australian cities.
This response is estimated at Band 5.5. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The provided diagramsThe below chart shows two different tunnels builttunels bulit to satisfy different conditions.
OverallInnitially, two tunels are both constructed in unique environments with different lengthslength. What's more, the depththe width and depth of them are also distinctive. The ages of two tunels are similarsimillar but their budgets arethe budget of them are substantially differentabsolutely of difference. The same design of them is their tunel cross section that they both select twin tube as their target.
When it comes to the budget of them, the cost of Tunnel B was significantly higher than that of Tunnel AtunelB is extremelly higer than tunelA. The fee of tunelB is $1.1 billion1.1 billion, while the other one is only $555 million555 million. The constructionconsturction date of tunelA during 1997-2002 and the tunelB was constructed during 2002-2006.The depths of Tunnel A and Tunnel BTheir depths of tunelA and tunelB are 15 metersemters and 25 meters respectively, and their lengthslength are 2.2 kilometers and 3.6 kilometers respectively. The surroundingusing environments of them are totally disparate, tunelA is bulit under water and towers with sand surroundingsands surrouding it but tunelB is located in the downtown with stone and clay surroundingsurrouding it.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response successfully presents the key comparative features of both tunnels including their costs, dimensions, construction dates, and surrounding environments. However, the report suffers from frequent spelling mistakes, repetitive language, and faulty sentence structure that strain overall clarity. To improve, focus on eliminating basic vocabulary errors and practicing more varied, accurate grammatical structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main features and comparisons are correctly identified and supported by data from the visual prompt.
Ensure key points in the overview paragraph are clear and accurate without misinterpreting details such as width versus lane capacity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized into logical sections, though cohesive devices are repetitive and occasionally misused.
Vary linking words and reduce the repetitive use of formulaic transitional phrases at the start of sentences.
Lexical Resource
A sufficient range of task-related vocabulary is used, but frequent spelling errors and awkward word choices noticeability disrupt precision.
Review common words carefully before writing to correct recurring spelling issues like 'tunel', 'Innitially', and 'extremelly'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Although both simple and complex sentence forms are attempted, grammatical errors in clause structure and preposition usage recur throughout the text.
Practice forming complete sentences with correct verb forms and prepositions, particularly when specifying time periods and numerical values.