The diagrams below show a comparison between two road tunnels in two Australian cities.
This response is estimated at Band 7.5. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The diagrams illustrate the differences between two road tunnels constructed in two Australian cities.
Overall, the twoOverall, two tunnels were constructed under different ground conditions. TunnelTunnels B is longer, deeper and was more expensivecost more funds than Tunnel A which was built earlier. Although both tunnels have a twin-tube designhave twin-tube design, Tunnel B accommodates three lanes in each tube compared to two in Tunnel A.Tunnel B has three lanes in each tube.
Tunnel A, which was built between 1997 and 2002, costcosts 555 million dollars with a maximum depth of 15 meters underground and a length of 2.2 kilometersand 2.2 kilometers long. Its twin-tube design has four lanes in total. In terms of surroundings, this tunnelBesides, this tunnel was constructed under sand, with two suspension towerstwo towers and a bridgebridge above.
In contrast, Tunnel BWhen it comes to Tunnel B, it was built from 2002 to 2006 at athe cost of 1.1 billion dollars. Tunnel B has a maximum depth of 25 meters and a length of 3.6 kilometers, with six lanes in two tubes. It wasis excavated through stone and clay instead of sand. There are buildings and a road aboveand road above the tunnel.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay provides a comprehensive and accurate overview of the visual data, clearly highlighting key differences between the two road tunnels in terms of dimensions, costs, and surrounding environments. Information is logically organized and easy to follow throughout the response. To raise the overall quality, refine minor grammatical errors such as subject-verb agreement and enhance vocabulary choices to avoid awkward phrasing when presenting numerical data.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report covers all key features of both tunnels accurately, including a clear overview comparing their dimensions, cost, capacity, and surrounding geology.
Ensure all distinct details, such as the body of water under the bridge, are highlighted even more explicitly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphs are organized logically with a clear introduction, overview, and systematic breakdown of each tunnel using appropriate transitions.
Vary cohesive devices slightly more to connect specific comparative points across paragraphs rather than presenting them sequentially.
Lexical Resource
The candidate uses a good range of vocabulary suited to describing diagrams, including terms related to depth, construction periods, and surface materials.
Replace informal or slightly imprecise expressions like 'cost more funds' with more sophisticated academic phrases such as 'required greater financial investment'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures and relative clauses are used effectively, maintaining clarity throughout the text.
Eliminate minor grammatical errors like subject-verb agreement slips and noun number mistakes.