The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010.
Sample Response
The graphs illustrate computer ownership as a percentagethe ownership of computers as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010over a period from 2002 to 2010 and rates by education leveland by the level of education for the years 2002 and 2010.
The rate ownership of computers increased over the years with about 55% of the population owning them in 2002 to approximately 70% of the population owning a computerowning the same in 2010.
There was a clear positive correlationThere was a clear correlation between the level of education and computer ownership in each education categorythe percentage of ownership for that education category. The least educated category of high school diploma holders had the lowest ownership rate infor both 2002 and 2010, at about 12% and 40%, respectively. This was followed by a substantial increase in the ownership rate for the categories of high school graduates, people with incomplete college educationcollege dropouts, and Bachelor’s degree holders in the same order. Postgraduate degree holders had the highest computer ownership ratestopped the list of computer ownership with about 75% and 95%slightly over 70% and 90% of the group owning a computerowning the device in 2002 and 2010, respectively.
OverallTo conclude, computer ownershipthe computer ownership rose at every recorded point in the periodduring each of the years of the said period. There was a positive correlation between the education level of each groupeducational qualification of the demographic group and their computer ownership.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its clear identification of the two central trends: ownership rose over time and increased with education level. Its main limitation is incomplete and sometimes inaccurate data support, including an understated 2010 overall figure and a mislabelled lowest-education group. The highest priority is to select several accurate figures from both charts and use them to make precise comparisons across years and education categories.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview identifies both main trends, but limited supporting data, an understated 2010 total, and a mislabelled lowest education group reduce accuracy and coverage.
Report accurate figures for several intermediate education groups and compare the size of their changes between 2002 and 2010.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from the overall ownership chart to education-level comparisons, although the concluding paragraph largely repeats earlier points.
Place a concise overview immediately after the introduction and use the final paragraph space for further specific comparisons.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the task, with effective terms such as correlation and qualification, but several expressions are imprecise or awkward.
Use more natural chart-reporting collocations, such as ownership rate and people without a high school diploma, while avoiding informal labels such as college dropouts.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A useful range of simple and complex structures keeps meaning clear, despite occasional article, noun-phrase, and sentence-construction errors.
Proofread noun phrases and articles carefully, especially constructions such as the rate of computer ownership and ownership rose over the period.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.