The bar chart shows the number of times per week (in 1000s), over five weeks, that three computer packages were downloaded from the internet.
Sample Response
The bar chart illustrates the download rate per week of ActiveX, Java and Net computer packages over a period of five weeks. It can clearly be seen that ActiveX was the most popular computer package to download, whilst Net was the least popular of the three. To begin, downloads of ActiveX and Java showed similar patterns, with both gradually increasing from week 1 to week 5. However, the purchases of Active X remained significantly higher than that of the other product over this time frame. In week 1, purchases of ActiveX stood at around 75,000, while those of Java were about 30,000 lower. With the exception of a slight fall in week 4, downloading of ActiveX kept increasing until it reached a peak in the final week of just over 120,000. Java downloads also increased at a steady rate, finishing the period at 80,000. The product that was downloaded the least was Net. This began at slightly under 40,000, and, in contrast to the other two products, fell over the next two weeks to reach a low of approximately 25,000. It then increased sharply over the following two weeks to finish at about 50,000, which was well below that of ActiveX.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Describe the measured quantity Original: download rate per week Suggested revision: number of weekly downloads Why it matters: The bars show counts in thousands rather than a rate.
- 2. Signal the overview directly Original: It can clearly be seen that Suggested revision: Overall, Why it matters: An explicit overview marker presents the two main patterns more efficiently.
- 3. Use concise chart language Original: ActiveX was the most popular computer package to download Suggested revision: ActiveX was downloaded most frequently Why it matters: The revision states the comparison directly and avoids the awkward infinitive.
- 4. Report downloads, not purchases Original: the purchases of Active X Suggested revision: the number of ActiveX downloads Why it matters: The chart records downloads and does not show whether any package was purchased.
- 5. Use a plural comparison Original: that of the other product Suggested revision: those of the other two packages Why it matters: The comparison refers to two other sets of download figures, so both the pronoun and noun must be plural.
- 6. Use the chart measure Original: purchases Suggested revision: downloads Why it matters: The data measure downloads rather than purchases.
- 7. Use a countable subject Original: downloading of ActiveX Suggested revision: the number of ActiveX downloads Why it matters: The number of downloads is the quantity that changes across the weeks.
- 8. Reflect the week-four dip Original: kept increasing Suggested revision: generally increased Why it matters: ActiveX fell in week 4, so its rise was not continuous.
- 9. Clarify the reference Original: This began Suggested revision: Its download total began Why it matters: The revised subject refers clearly to Net's numerical figure rather than to the package itself.
- 10. Compare equivalent figures Original: which was well below that of ActiveX Suggested revision: a figure well below that for ActiveX Why it matters: The revision compares Net's final download figure directly with the figure for ActiveX.
- 11. Use standard package terminology Original: computer Suggested revision: software Why it matters: Software package is the more natural term for ActiveX, Java, and Net.
- 12. Remove unnecessary wording Original: over a period of five weeks Suggested revision: over five weeks Why it matters: The shorter phrase conveys the same time span more efficiently.
Suggested Rewrites
- download rate per week number of weekly downloads
- It can clearly be seen that Overall,
- ActiveX was the most popular computer package to download ActiveX was downloaded most frequently
- the purchases of Active X the number of ActiveX downloads
- that of the other product those of the other two packages
- purchases downloads
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a clear overview and follows the three download patterns in a logical, easy-to-understand way. Its main limitation is precision: the low point for Net is overstated, and downloads are repeatedly described as purchases. The highest-priority improvement is to verify each plotted value and use the chart's measurement consistently, then organise the overview and detailed comparisons into separate paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and well-selected comparisons describe the main patterns, but the trough for Net is reported too high.
Check each plotted value against the scale and include the accurate low point when describing Net's decline.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves logically from the overview to ActiveX and Java and then to Net, with clear cohesive links.
Place the overview and the detailed package comparisons in separate paragraphs to strengthen the report's organisation.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficiently varied for trends and comparisons, but purchases is an inaccurate substitute for downloads and some references are imprecise.
Use the chart's terminology consistently and replace vague phrases such as the other product with the specific package names.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied mix of simple and complex structures is generally accurate, although occasional agreement and reference choices are awkward.
Match plural comparisons accurately, especially when comparing purchases or downloads with those of other packages.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar chart shows the number of times per week (in 1000s), over five weeks, that three computer packages were downloaded from the internet.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.