The bar chart below gives information about four countries spending habits of shopping on consumer goods in 2012.
Sample Response
The bar chart compares the consumer spending on six different items in four countries in 2012. A glance at the graph reveals that Brtish spent the highest amount for purchasing these consumer goods in 2012. As the data presents, in 2012, Spaniards spent exactly 150 thousand pound sterling to buy console games, which cost roughly 145 thousand for Belgian and Austrian consumers. Brits spent the highest amount on gaming consoles and it was over 165 million. For outdoor gaming accessories, English spent slightly more than that when Austrians spending was the least, 140 million. Furthermore, Books cost around 160 million for British and Austrians while it was 15 million less for Belgians. Besides, Toys cost equally to the citizens of Spain and Austria, 157 roughly, Spaniards spending on these items were somewhat close. It is worth noticing that, English consumers disbursed the highest amount on all these consumer goods and their maximum spending was for cameras, 170 million pound. Belgian consumers seem like spent the least and their major share of spending went on outdoor game accessories for which they paid 150 million. Finally, toys and cameras cost the highest for the customers in these countries in 2012.
Useful Resources for IELTS Graph Writing:
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise phrasing Original: consumer spending on Suggested revision: spending on Why it matters: The shorter phrase conveys the same meaning more naturally.
- 2. Correct country adjective Original: Brtish Suggested revision: British consumers Why it matters: This fixes the spelling error and supplies the people who spent the money.
- 3. Correct spending collocation Original: for purchasing Suggested revision: on Why it matters: Spend an amount on goods is the standard collocation.
- 4. Use chart language Original: As the data presents Suggested revision: As the chart shows Why it matters: Data do not present themselves, whereas a chart shows information.
- 5. Use plural currency Original: pound sterling Suggested revision: pounds sterling Why it matters: The plural unit is required after 150 thousand.
- 6. Clarify the comparison Original: which cost roughly 145 thousand Suggested revision: while Belgian and Austrian consumers each spent roughly 145 thousand Why it matters: The original relative clause incorrectly makes the games rather than the consumers the point of comparison.
- 7. Correct value and unit Original: over 165 million Suggested revision: about 155 thousand pounds Why it matters: The chart shows British spending on console games at about 155 thousand pounds.
- 8. Name consumers precisely Original: English spent slightly more than that Suggested revision: British consumers spent slightly more on these items Why it matters: British consumers is the accurate noun phrase, and these items gives the comparison a clear reference.
- 9. Correct lowest figure Original: when Austrians spending was the least, 140 million Suggested revision: whereas Spanish spending was the lowest, at about 143 thousand pounds Why it matters: Spain, not Austria, has the lowest outdoor-accessories bar, and the unit is thousands of pounds.
- 10. Use lower case Original: Books Suggested revision: books Why it matters: A common noun in the middle of a sentence should not be capitalised.
- 11. Correct unit and noun Original: around 160 million for British and Austrians Suggested revision: around 160 thousand pounds for British and Austrian consumers Why it matters: The axis uses thousands of pounds, and Austrian needs a noun to identify the consumers.
- 12. Fix phrase and comma Original: It is worth noticing that, Suggested revision: It is worth noting that Why it matters: Worth noting is the natural phrase and no comma belongs after that.
Suggested Rewrites
- consumer spending on spending on
- Brtish British consumers
- for purchasing on
- As the data presents As the chart shows
- pound sterling pounds sterling
- which cost roughly 145 thousand while Belgian and Austrian consumers each spent roughly 145 thousand
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response identifies Britain's overall dominance and includes several useful comparisons, so the main pattern remains clear. However, the reporting is weakened by omitted cosmetics data and multiple incorrect figures or claims, especially the console and outdoor-accessory values, while pounds are repeatedly mislabeled as millions rather than thousands. First verify every value and unit against the chart, then group accurate comparisons by product or country.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The main trend is identified and several comparisons are relevant, but cosmetics are omitted and multiple product values, rankings, and units are inaccurate.
Check every selected bar and the thousand-pound unit before writing, then include one accurate comparison covering the omitted cosmetics category.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report follows a broadly understandable product-by-product sequence, although linking is sometimes mechanical and all information is compressed into one paragraph.
Use separate overview and detail paragraphs, grouping related products or country patterns instead of moving through loosely connected statements.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate vocabulary for spending comparisons, but spelling and unnatural choices such as "English" for consumers and "toys cost equally" reduce precision.
Use consistent labels such as "British consumers" and conventional reporting phrases such as "spending was similar" or "spent the most."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of sentence forms conveys the general meaning, but frequent errors in possessives, agreement, and clause construction reduce control.
Edit each sentence for a complete grammatical structure, especially forms such as "Austrians' spending was" and "Belgian consumers seemed to spend."
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