The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate at fast-food shops between 2003 and 2013. Frequency of eating at fast food shops among people in the USA (2003 - 2013)
Sample Response
The diagram outlines the frequency of having fast food meals by Americans at restaurants from 2003 to 2013. Generally speaking, almost half of the Americans ate fast food in a bistro either once or more than a few times a week between 2003 and 2013. It is worth noticing that more Americans chose not to eat junk food as frequently as they used to do so in the past. As the diagram suggests, almost one of twenty Americans ate junk food daily at a restaurant in 2003 while this rate slightly decreased over the period. Interestingly around the same percentage of US citizens never ate at such restaurants, as the data suggests. Again, around 17% of Americans ate at fast-food eateries several times a week and the ratio of such people increased in 2006 before it dropped to just over 15% in 2013. Many Americans preferred eating fast food once a week and they constituted almost one third. Their ratio, however, fell by few percentages over time. A similar percentage of Americans had fast food meals once in a month and their ratio went higher. People who rarely dined at a fast-food café accounted for around 15% of the total. The increase in the last two categories suggests that many Americans who more frequently ate at fast food shops had stopped doing so after a decade.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name chart precisely Original: diagram Suggested revision: bar chart Why it matters: Bar chart identifies the visual type more accurately.
- 2. Fix noun construction Original: frequency of having fast food meals by Americans at restaurants Suggested revision: frequency with which Americans ate at fast-food restaurants Why it matters: This construction expresses how often people ate there clearly and grammatically.
- 3. Use natural quantifier Original: almost half of the Americans Suggested revision: about half of Americans Why it matters: Americans is used generally here without the definite article.
- 4. Match chart setting Original: in a bistro Suggested revision: at fast-food restaurants Why it matters: The chart concerns fast-food shops, not bistros.
- 5. Use chart categories Original: either once or more than a few times a week Suggested revision: either once or several times a week Why it matters: The chart category is several times a week, not more than a few times.
- 6. Signal overview directly Original: It is worth noticing that Suggested revision: Overall, Why it matters: Overall directly introduces the main trend without evaluative padding.
- 7. Remove redundancy Original: used to do so in the past Suggested revision: did previously Why it matters: Used to and in the past repeat the same time meaning.
- 8. Fix proportion phrase Original: almost one of twenty Suggested revision: almost one in twenty Why it matters: One in twenty is the standard expression for a proportion.
- 9. Use chart wording Original: junk food daily at a restaurant Suggested revision: at fast-food restaurants every day Why it matters: This wording matches the chart category and avoids changing fast food to junk food.
- 10. Add introductory comma Original: Interestingly around Suggested revision: Interestingly, around Why it matters: A comma follows the introductory adverb.
- 11. Remove redundant tag Original: as the data suggests Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The sentence already reports the chart, so this tag adds no information.
- 12. Use concise reference Original: the ratio of such people Suggested revision: this proportion Why it matters: This proportion refers to the preceding percentage more directly.
Suggested Rewrites
- diagram bar chart
- frequency of having fast food meals by Americans at restaurants frequency with which Americans ate at fast-food restaurants
- almost half of the Americans about half of Americans
- in a bistro at fast-food restaurants
- either once or more than a few times a week either once or several times a week
- It is worth noticing that Overall,
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response covers every frequency category and generally tracks the principal movements across the three years, using a useful range of comparative language. Its main limitation is that the overview is vague and some trends are compressed inaccurately, especially the mid-period changes in the two largest categories. The priority is to group the data around the weekly-to-monthly shift and give precise figures for each peak and reversal.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
All categories are addressed and a broad shift toward less frequent consumption is identified, but the overview and several trends lack precision.
Highlight that once a week peaked in 2006 while once or twice a month became the largest category in 2013, with accurate figures.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report follows the frequency categories in a discernible order, but the single paragraph and vague references weaken grouping and progression.
Separate the overview from two detail paragraphs and replace references such as the last two categories with explicit category names.
Lexical Resource
There is a useful range of frequency and comparison vocabulary, although bistro, junk food, a few percentages, and ratio went higher are awkward or imprecise.
Prefer neutral chart language such as fast-food outlets, percentage, rose by several percentage points, and increased.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex sentences are generally well controlled and meaning remains clear, with occasional errors in articles, quantifier forms, and time expressions.
Refine forms such as one in twenty, by a few percentage points, and once a month while keeping tense choices consistent.
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