The graph below shows the daily consumption of three spreads per person from 1981 to 2007 in a country.

Same questionCompare 2 different answers (Band 6–7)

Sample Response

1

The consumption of margarine, butter and low-fat spreads in a country from 1981 to 2007 is compared in the line chart. Daily per-person consumptionThe daily per person ingesting is measured in grams. It is apparent that low-fat and reduced-fat spreadslow fat & reduced spread appeared in 1996had been in use from 1996 and eventuallybut soon it became the most preferred spread type in this country. As the data suggests, butter was the most consumed spread type in 1981 with about 140 grams per dayslightly over 140-gram daily intakes. Consumption of margarine that yearin this year was just below 100 grams. By 1986After 5 years, the use of butter rose while margarine consumption decreasedit actually decreased for margarine. But their daily consumption figuresboth of their daily consumption intersected in 1991 as margarine consumptionthe demand for margarine remained steady till 1996 at which point butter consumption droppeddripped as low as 7065 grams per person. The use of butter steadily declined after 1986. The 'low fat and reduced spread' was introduced in 1996 and it soon became the most consumed spread type with a sharp rise in its use. In 2001, the demand for the latter spread reached as high as 80 grams while the other two spreads were losing their demand. Finally, in 2007, people consumed around 70 grams of low-fat and reduced-fat spreads70 grams low fat and reduced spread, and consumptionconsumptions of butter and margarine were around 5045 and 40 grams respectivelyconsecutively at that time.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response identifies the main shifts in spread consumption and supports them with relevant figures, including the rise of low-fat spreads and the decline of butter. Its main limitation is recurrent imprecise or unnatural wording, with a few slightly inaccurate values. The highest-priority improvement is to use standard data-description phrases and check every figure and comparative term against the graph.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

7.5
Scoring rule

A clear overview and well-selected figures describe the principal changes, though the 1996 butter figure and final butter value are slightly inaccurate.

Next step

Check each numerical value against the graph and make the overall contrast between the two declining traditional spreads and the newer spread explicit.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.5
Scoring rule

The account progresses chronologically and relationships between trends are easy to follow, but presenting everything in one paragraph weakens the organisation.

Next step

Separate the overview from two logically grouped detail paragraphs and avoid linking too many observations within a single sentence.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.5
Scoring rule

The response uses a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, but expressions such as “daily per person ingesting,” “dripped,” and “consecutively” are inaccurate or unnatural.

Next step

Use precise chart language such as “daily consumption per person,” “dropped,” and “respectively,” while avoiding unsupported references to preference or demand.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.5
Scoring rule

A range of sentence forms communicates the comparisons clearly, although article, agreement, noun-form, and preposition errors recur.

Next step

Edit noun phrases and agreement carefully, especially forms such as “consumption,” “a 140-gram daily intake,” and “70 grams of low-fat spread.”

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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1

The graph below shows the daily consumption of three spreads per person from 1981 to 2007 in a country.

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