The graph below shows the daily consumption of three spreads per person from 1981 to 2007 in a country.
Sample Response
The consumption of margarine, butter and low-fat spreads in a country from 1981 to 2007 is compared in the line chart. The daily per person ingesting is measured in grams. It is apparent that low fat & reduced spread had been in use from 1996 but soon it became the most preferred spread type in this country. As the data suggests, butter was the most consumed spread type in 1981 with slightly over 140-gram daily intakes. Consumption of margarine in this year was just below 100 grams. After 5 years, the use of butter rose while it actually decreased for margarine. But both of their daily consumption intersected in 1991 as the demand for margarine remained steady till 1996 at which point butter consumption dripped as low as 65 grams per person. The use of butter steadily declined after 1986. The 'low fat and reduced spread' was introduced in 1996 and it soon became the most consumed spread type with a sharp rise in its use. In 2001, the demand for the latter spread reached as high as 80 grams while the other two spreads were losing their demand. Finally, in 2007, people consumed around 70 grams low fat and reduced spread, and consumptions of butter and margarine were around 45 and 40 grams consecutively at that time.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the correct noun Original: The daily per person ingesting Suggested revision: Daily per-person consumption Why it matters: Ingesting is an action, whereas consumption names the quantity measured by the chart.
- 2. Use a formal label Original: low fat & reduced spread Suggested revision: low-fat and reduced-fat spreads Why it matters: This form is clearer and more formal than using an ampersand.
- 3. Correct the time form Original: had been in use from 1996 Suggested revision: appeared in 1996 Why it matters: The past perfect is unnecessary for a chart event at a stated time.
- 4. Show the timing accurately Original: but soon Suggested revision: and eventually Why it matters: The category becomes clearly highest only by 2007, so soon overstates the speed of that change.
- 5. Report the value accurately Original: slightly over 140-gram daily intakes Suggested revision: about 140 grams per day Why it matters: The butter figure in 1981 is approximately 140 grams rather than clearly above it.
- 6. Use a natural reference Original: in this year Suggested revision: that year Why it matters: That year is the natural way to refer back to 1981.
- 7. Name the chart year Original: After 5 years Suggested revision: By 1986 Why it matters: Using the labelled year makes the sequence easier to follow.
- 8. Clarify the subject Original: it actually decreased for margarine Suggested revision: margarine consumption decreased Why it matters: The revised wording gives the decrease a clear grammatical subject.
- 9. Use a plural head noun Original: both of their daily consumption Suggested revision: their daily consumption figures Why it matters: Two series require a plural noun to refer to their values.
- 10. Describe the measured quantity Original: the demand for margarine Suggested revision: margarine consumption Why it matters: The chart reports consumption rather than consumer demand.
- 11. Choose the right verb Original: dripped Suggested revision: dropped Why it matters: Dropped describes a fall in a chart, while dripped has a different meaning.
- 12. Correct the 1996 value Original: 65 Suggested revision: 70 Why it matters: The chart places butter at about 70 grams in 1996.
Suggested Rewrites
- The daily per person ingesting Daily per-person consumption
- low fat & reduced spread low-fat and reduced-fat spreads
- had been in use from 1996 appeared in 1996
- but soon and eventually
- slightly over 140-gram daily intakes about 140 grams per day
- in this year that year
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response identifies the main shifts in spread consumption and supports them with relevant figures, including the rise of low-fat spreads and the decline of butter. Its main limitation is recurrent imprecise or unnatural wording, with a few slightly inaccurate values. The highest-priority improvement is to use standard data-description phrases and check every figure and comparative term against the graph.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and well-selected figures describe the principal changes, though the 1996 butter figure and final butter value are slightly inaccurate.
Check each numerical value against the graph and make the overall contrast between the two declining traditional spreads and the newer spread explicit.
Coherence and Cohesion
The account progresses chronologically and relationships between trends are easy to follow, but presenting everything in one paragraph weakens the organisation.
Separate the overview from two logically grouped detail paragraphs and avoid linking too many observations within a single sentence.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, but expressions such as “daily per person ingesting,” “dripped,” and “consecutively” are inaccurate or unnatural.
Use precise chart language such as “daily consumption per person,” “dropped,” and “respectively,” while avoiding unsupported references to preference or demand.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence forms communicates the comparisons clearly, although article, agreement, noun-form, and preposition errors recur.
Edit noun phrases and agreement carefully, especially forms such as “consumption,” “a 140-gram daily intake,” and “70 grams of low-fat spread.”
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the daily consumption of three spreads per person from 1981 to 2007 in a country.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.