The table below shows the sales at a small restaurant in a downtown business district.
Sample Response
The provided table gives data on the sales of a small restaurant for the second week of October month. As is observed from the given presentation, the sales volume of dinner is higher than the lunch sales volume throughout the whole week except Sunday and people spend more money for lunch and dinner to the restaurant on Friday. As is presented in the comparison table, the sale amount of the restaurant in lunch time is around $ 2300 to $ 2600 from Monday to Friday. Their sales volume of dinner for the same days of the week is between $3400 and $4400. But on Saturday and Sunday, a different trend is observed when the sales volume drops compared to other days of the week and this is possibly because of the days off. On Sunday the sales volume of lunch decreases to $ 1,550 and dinner to $ 2,450 which are the least amounts they sale in the week. Interestingly the dinner sales volume on Sunday night drops to only $ 2045 which is almost 2 times less than the amount they sell on Friday night. In summary, the restaurant sales more for dinner than the lunch and people tend to eat less in restaurants on Saturday and Sunday.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. State exact dates Original: for the second week of October month Suggested revision: for the week of October 7-13 Why it matters: The table specifies the dates October 7-13 rather than naming a numbered week.
- 2. Use sales collocation Original: the sales volume of dinner is higher Suggested revision: dinner sales are higher Why it matters: Dinner sales is the natural concise expression for restaurant revenue.
- 3. Use sales collocation Original: the lunch sales volume Suggested revision: lunch sales Why it matters: Lunch sales is clearer and more natural than sales volume in this context.
- 4. Remove false exception Original: except Sunday Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: Dinner sales exceed lunch sales on Sunday as well as on every other day.
- 5. Report sales directly Original: people spend more money for lunch and dinner to the restaurant Suggested revision: sales for both lunch and dinner are highest Why it matters: The table reports restaurant sales, and Friday has the highest figure for both meals.
- 6. Reduce formulaic reference Original: As is presented in the comparison table Suggested revision: The table shows that Why it matters: A direct reference is clearer than repeating a formulaic introductory phrase.
- 7. Use natural phrasing Original: the sale amount of the restaurant in lunch time Suggested revision: the restaurant's lunchtime sales Why it matters: The replacement uses the standard possessive form and lunchtime collocation.
- 8. Give accurate range Original: around $ 2300 to $ 2600 Suggested revision: between $2,375 and $2,595 Why it matters: These are the exact lowest and highest weekday lunch figures in the table.
- 9. Fix unclear reference Original: Their sales volume of dinner Suggested revision: Dinner sales Why it matters: Their has no clear plural antecedent, and the shorter noun phrase is more accurate.
- 10. Use concise reference Original: the same days of the week Suggested revision: weekdays Why it matters: Weekdays refers clearly and concisely to Monday through Friday.
- 11. Give accurate range Original: between $3400 and $4400 Suggested revision: between $3,445 and $4,350 Why it matters: The stated range should use the actual weekday dinner minimum and maximum.
- 12. Clarify weekend contrast Original: a different trend is observed when the sales volume drops compared to other days of the week Suggested revision: sales drop compared with weekdays Why it matters: This concise clause makes the relevant weekday-weekend comparison explicit.
Suggested Rewrites
- for the second week of October month for the week of October 7-13
- the sales volume of dinner is higher dinner sales are higher
- the lunch sales volume lunch sales
- except Sunday Delete
- people spend more money for lunch and dinner to the restaurant sales for both lunch and dinner are highest
- As is presented in the comparison table The table shows that
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response communicates the broad pattern that dinner revenue exceeded lunch revenue and that weekend sales were lower, and its weekday ranges are reasonably selected. However, several key statements conflict with the table, including the claim that Sunday was an exception, the Friday lunch peak, and two different Sunday dinner figures. Verify each daily value, remove unsupported explanations, and present one accurate overview before the details.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main lunch-dinner and weekday-weekend patterns are identified, but repeated factual errors and unsupported speculation make the report uneven.
Cross-check Friday and Sunday values and report only observable patterns, including Wednesday's lunch peak and Friday's dinner peak.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses from an overview to weekday and weekend details, but the single paragraph, repetition, and contradictory Sunday figures weaken cohesion.
Separate the overview from weekday and weekend comparisons and state each Sunday figure only once.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary for sales and comparison, but frequent awkward collocations such as 'sales volume of dinner' and 'sales more' limit precision.
Prefer concise phrases such as 'dinner sales,' 'lunch revenue,' 'peaked at,' and 'fell to.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains generally clear, but recurring article, preposition, agreement, and word-form errors occur across the response.
Edit sentence by sentence for forms such as 'sales were,' 'spent at the restaurant,' and 'the lowest amounts sold.'
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below shows the sales at a small restaurant in a downtown business district.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.