The bar chart below shows the percentage of men and women in Great Britain who had driving licenses, and another bar chart shows the percentage of men and women who applied for driving licenses at the age of 17-20.
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Sample Response
The first bar chart illustrates the percentage of men and women with driving licences from 1976 to 2006, and the accompanying second bar chartaccompanying the second bar chart breaks down the percentage of young drivers aged from 17 to 20 in 1996 and 2006.in 1996 and 2006,
Overall, the percentage of men and women with driving licences roserose up fromform 1976 to 2006, whereas the percentage of young drivers fellfalled down in comparison between 1996 and 2006from 1996 between 2006. Taken together, the charts indicate that though there are more people had driving licences, the young drivers taken a smaller part of it.
In the first chart, the percentage of men rose from about 70% to 80% during the 30 years. And the percentage remained stable from 1976 to 1986 as well as 1996 to 2006, showing the real increasetruly increasement happened from 1986 to 1996. In contrast to the modest increase for mentiny change of men ,the percentage of women doubled fromform about 30% to 60%, with an average increase ofaverage increasement of percentage points about 5% per 5 years.
A closer look at the second chart shows that the percentage of young drivers droppeddropped down from 1996 to 2006 for both men and womenboth in men and women. In particular, the drop for men was about 5 percentage points (from 50% to 45%), half the 10-percentage-point decrease for women (from 30% to 20%)downward percentage points for men is nearly about a half of that for women, which dropped from about 30% to 20%.
Why this response received Band 6.0
文章能够准确梳理两张图表的核心趋势,并作出了清晰的总览与合理的段落拆分。但在细节描述中存在个别数据解读不够精准的问题,且语言层面出现了较多词性拼写误用和句法结构错误。建议优先纠正基础语法与动词形态,同时提高图表具体数值描述的准确度。
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
任务完成度
文章给出了包含主要趋势的清晰总览,并提取了大部分关键特征,但对第二张图表中年轻男性数据的具体描述不够明确。
补充第二张图表中年轻男性(从50%降至45%)的具体数值,确保两图数据对比完整且无误。
连贯与衔接
文章采用了合理的四段式结构,段落分工明确,并恰当使用了连接词以保持逻辑衔接。
注意标点符号的规范使用,避免在段落结尾出现误用逗号连接句子的现象。
词汇资源
文章尝试使用了如 breaks down、doubled 等图表写作词汇,但出现了多次拼写和词形错误。
积累并规范使用名词形式 increasement(应为 increase)以及介词 from 的正确拼写,避免使用 falled 等错误词形。
语法多样性与准确性
句式具备一定多样性,但存在频繁的语法错误和不完整的句子结构,影响了语言表达的精准度。
重点练习从句与谓语动词的结构匹配,纠正如 there are more people had 或 young drivers taken 等句子中的谓语动词遗漏或误用问题。