The graphs below show unemployment rates and average earnings according to level of education.
Sample Response
Two bar graphs describe the data from 2016 regarding the percentage of unemployed and average weekly income by different levels of education.
The first graph shows unemployment rates in 2016 in four different groups. Looking at people who only completed high school we can see that 5.5% were out of work. It is evident that the percentage of unemployed gradually decreased as the level of education rose. The proportion of unemployed was the lowest among those with a graduate degree, at only 1.2%
The second chart is showing the relationship between education level and weekly earnings. Those with only high school diplomas earned the least amount of money per week ($600). People who studied at college for some time earned a slightly higher amount of $675 per week, but college or graduate degrees owners overtook them by earning $1,100 and $1,500 a week, respectively.
All in all, it can be seen that people with higher level of education are more likely to have a job and higher income.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use chart term Original: income Suggested revision: earnings Why it matters: Use the chart's precise label for the monetary measure.
- 2. Name the categories Original: four different groups Suggested revision: four education levels Why it matters: This phrase identifies the basis on which the four groups are organised.
- 3. Add introductory comma Original: completed high school we Suggested revision: completed high school, we Why it matters: A comma is needed after the introductory participial clause.
- 4. Use noun phrase Original: percentage of unemployed gradually decreased Suggested revision: unemployment rate gradually decreased Why it matters: Unemployed is an adjective here, so unemployment rate is the correct noun phrase.
- 5. End the sentence Original: 1.2% Suggested revision: 1.2%. Why it matters: The sentence needs a full stop after the percentage.
- 6. Use simple present Original: is showing Suggested revision: shows Why it matters: The simple present is the standard tense for describing what a chart displays.
- 7. Match category label Original: People who studied at college for some time Suggested revision: People with some college education Why it matters: This wording represents the Some College category more precisely.
- 8. Correct noun phrase Original: college or graduate degrees owners Suggested revision: college- or graduate-degree holders Why it matters: Degree holders is the natural and grammatically correct noun phrase.
- 9. Avoid change verb Original: overtook them by earning Suggested revision: earned Why it matters: Overtook implies a change over time, whereas the chart gives one set of earnings figures.
- 10. Use unemployment noun Original: the percentage of unemployed and Suggested revision: the unemployment rate and Why it matters: Unemployed describes people, while unemployment rate names the measure shown.
- 11. Clarify category basis Original: by different levels of education Suggested revision: across different education levels Why it matters: Across clearly frames the comparison among the four education categories.
- 12. Correct measure phrase Original: The proportion of unemployed Suggested revision: The unemployment rate Why it matters: Unemployment rate is the correct noun phrase for the percentage shown.
Suggested Rewrites
- income earnings
- four different groups four education levels
- completed high school we completed high school, we
- percentage of unemployed gradually decreased unemployment rate gradually decreased
- 1.2% 1.2%.
- is showing shows
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear overview of the inverse relationship between education and unemployment and the positive relationship with earnings, while accurately reporting the main figures. Its chief limitation is the limited coverage of the middle unemployment categories, which reduces the detail of the comparison. The highest-priority improvement is to include the 4.2% and 2.5% figures and compare all four education levels more fully.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and accurate key figures convey both main relationships, although the middle unemployment categories are not quantified.
Include the unemployment figures for some college and college graduates to make the comparison fully representative.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report progresses logically from unemployment to earnings and closes with an effective overview of the combined pattern.
Integrate the final overview earlier or use it to make a more explicit cross-chart comparison rather than simply restating the trends.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is generally varied and appropriate for describing data, with only occasional awkward choices such as degree owners overtook them.
Use more natural comparison phrases, such as graduates earned considerably more than people with some college education.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A useful range of sentence structures is handled with good control, though minor errors in articles and noun phrases occur.
Improve accuracy in phrases such as people with a higher level of education and holders of college or graduate degrees.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graphs below show unemployment rates and average earnings according to level of education.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.