The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.
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Sample Response
The provided line graphs present specific information regarding the changes in ownership of three electrical appliances and the hours spent on doing housework in households in one particularthe one particular country over a 100-year period.
Overall, a notable pattern emerges that the ownership of all three appliances increased overall, although washing machines experienced more modest growth.percentage of households that owned three types of appliances witnessed a significant upward trajectory, whereas the figure for washing machine remained a relatively stable. Furthermore, it is evident that the hours spent on housework per week showed a substantial decline.
A closer analysis of data reveals that there was an overall upward trend. Specifically, the ownership rate of refrigerators rose drastically from just above 0% in 19200% in 1920 to 90% in 1960, before growing marginally to peak at 100%, standing at this figure for subsequent years. In addition, the figure for vacuum cleaners started higher at 30%, and was surpassed by refrigerator ownership around 1942.surpassed by the rate of refrigerators in the year of 1940. After a steep increase lasting 40 years, the ownership rate slowed downslowed down its growth and grew slightly to 100%. Moreover, the percentage of washing machines started at 40%, which was higher than the others, and increased smoothly to 70% in 1960. Subsequently, after a minor dip, it resumed its upward trendrecovered to grow, accounting for slightly more than 70% at the end of this period.
Notably, the hours spent on housework weekly witnessed a significantsignificantly decline, decreasing from 50 hours to 20 hours per week in 1960. In addition, the figure leveled off around approximately 15 hours untiltill 2019.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response effectively highlights key trends across both charts and provides a clear overview of the main data patterns. However, minor factual inaccuracies in appliance trajectories and recurring grammatical slips involving articles reduce overall precision. To raise the essay to a higher band level, ensure data points perfectly mirror the visual trends and proofread carefully to eliminate basic structural errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Key features and overall trends across both charts are well identified, though a few minor data details are misread.
Double-check key data points against the visual source to ensure dates and exact figures, such as when specific appliances reached peak ownership, are accurate.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically grouped into distinct paragraphs with clear progression throughout the report.
Vary cohesive transitions to avoid overusing mechanical markers like 'In addition' and 'Moreover' across consecutive paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A good range of trend vocabulary is used with clear flexibility and appropriate precision.
Refine word choices and phrase collocations to prevent slight awkwardness in expressions like 'slowed down its growth'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is attempted, though minor errors in article usage and word form persist.
Focus on proofreading noun phrases to eliminate article errors like 'remained a relatively stable' or 'a significantly decline'.