The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.
This response is estimated at Band 8.0. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
The line charts present the changes in the percentage of households with three electrical appliances and the number of hours of housework per week in households in a country from 1920 to 2019.
Overall, the number of hours of housework per week decreased considerablyhad a considerable decrease while the percentage of households with electrical appliances rose significantlyhad a significant increase. The ownership of three different electrical appliances in households all increased.
In 1920, washing machines were the most common electrical appliance, with approximately 40% of households owning them, compared with about 30% for vacuum cleaners and almost none for refrigerators. However, the percentageBut the percentage of households with washing machines increased the most slowlymost slowly, dipping slightly in 1980 before reaching around 75% in 2019reaching over 70% in 2019. The ownership of refrigerators had the most significant increase throughout the period. This figure reached approximately 100% in 1980 before remainingkeeping stable at this level. The proportion of households owning vacuum cleaners also increased substantially, reaching 100% by 2000reaching its peak of approximately 100 percent in 2000, and then plateaued.
The number of hours of housework per week decreased dramatically from 1920 to 1980, falling from about 50 to around 15. This figure then plateaued at this level before falling slightly to about 10 hours in 2019.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear and accurate summary of the visual data with a well-developed overview and structured comparative details. Key trends for all three electrical appliances and housework hours are clearly described using precise terminology. The primary area for improvement is adding more varied sentence structures and linking devices to enhance cohesion. Prioritizing more sophisticated transitional phrases will help elevate the response further.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All key features and main trends from both charts are accurately reported and highlighted with relevant figures.
Ensure minor fluctuations, such as the slight dip and recovery in washing machine ownership between 1960 and 1980, are explicitly mentioned.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized into dedicated paragraphs with a clear overview and smooth progression throughout.
Incorporate a wider variety of cohesive devices beyond standard conjunctions to link comparisons across paragraphs even more fluidly.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is used with flexibility and precision, employing accurate data descriptor phrases such as plateaued and reached its peak.
Integrate more varied lexical collocations when expressing trends and proportions to reduce repetition of similar verbs.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of grammatical structures is used flexibly with a high level of accuracy throughout the text.
Incorporate more complex structure combinations, such as participle clauses or relative clauses, to further vary clause structures.