The charts below show the types of communication training taken by employees in an international company and the reasons why they participated.
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Sample Response
These two pie charts illustrate the percentages of five kinds of communication training that employees took in an international company, and five different reasons that prompted them to participate.causes which promote them to participate in.
Overall, the proportion of employees who attended part-time trainingattended to part-time training in the evening was the highest, followed by part-time training on the weekends and self-tuition. The intensive training ranked the fourthforth, and distant learning was the last one. As for the motivations, most people in this international company made their decisions due to holiday travel needs, nearly half of all employees. The share of people who joined for business travel, personal interest, and other reasons sequentiallysequencely followed holiday travel. Fewer staff membersless personnel attended for communication with clients.
It is clear that 39% of employees39% employees attended part-time training in the evening. Compared with that, only 22% of employeesonly 22% employees participated in it on the weekends, which matched the proportion recorded forhad the same figure for self-tuition. Twelve percent of employees participated in intensive training12% employees participated in intensive training and only 5% chose distant learning.
Almost half of the employeesAlmost half of employees participated in thisthese training because of holiday travel, at 46%. The second reason was business travel (17%), whereasThe second reason was business travel, similar percentages of employees attended for personal interest and other reasons, at 14% and 13% respectively. Only 10% of personnelOnly 10% personnel joined in training for communication with clients.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response successfully covers all main features from both pie charts and provides a clear overview of the trends. However, repetitive structural patterns and awkward word choices slightly hinder the overall fluency and precision. To improve performance, focus on eliminating word-formation errors and refining complex grammatical structures like prepositions and noun phrases.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main features and key proportions are presented accurately alongside a clear overall overview.
Ensure all key categories, such as the specific percentage for business travel, are fully reported in the detailed body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized into dedicated paragraphs, though some cohesive transitions feel slightly mechanical.
Vary linkers across paragraphs and avoid awkward phrasing like 'sequencely followed' to improve sentence flow.
Lexical Resource
An adequate vocabulary range is used to describe percentages and ranks, but errors in word forms and collocations occur.
Replace awkward expressions like 'causes which promote them' and non-standard words like 'sequencely' with natural vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence structures is attempted, but noticeable grammatical inaccuracies with prepositions and noun plurals remain.
Review preposition rules with verbs like 'attended' and ensure proper determiner agreement, such as using 'this training' instead of 'these training'.