the chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008.
Sample Response
The bar chart illustrates the number of employees in five different sectors, namelywhich included sales, accounting, computing, nursing and farming, in one area of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Overall, it is obvious that sales had the largest number of employees in both yearsover the given period while farming had the smallest figure. In addition,Besides, the number of people in sales, computing and nursing witnessed an upward trend. However, accounting and farming experienced a downward trendtendency. In detail, the number of people working in the sales sector increased from 155,000 to roughly 165,000 from 2001 to 2008. When it comes to computing and nursing, both sectors employed roughly 53,000 people each in 2001had nearly 53,000 in 2001, while the former rose markedly to 75,000 and the latter rose slightly to 55,000 in 2008. In comparison, employment in the accounting and farming sectors decreasedthe accounting and farming sectors decreased from roughly 65,000 and 27,00061,000 and 22,000 to around 57,000 and 18,00059,000 and 19,000 respectively.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The report effectively highlights key trends and comparison points with a clear overall summary and well-organized paragraphs. However, a few specific data points for accounting and farming are slightly inaccurate when read against the chart axes. To improve performance, double-check numerical estimates against the grid lines to ensure complete accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a clear overview and covers all main sectors, though a few figure readings are slightly inaccurate.
Verify precise values against the vertical scale to avoid minor errors in reported figures.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized logically into distinct overview and detail paragraphs with clear cohesive markers.
Vary cohesive phrases slightly more to make transitions between contrasting paragraphs feel even more natural.
Lexical Resource
A good range of vocabulary related to trends and categories is used with appropriate control.
Incorporate more precise vocabulary for data descriptions, such as specifying exact proportions or changes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammatical structures are varied and largely accurate throughout the task.
Continue practicing complex sentence patterns to ensure perfect punctuation in multi-clause comparisons.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
the chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.