the chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008.
Sample Response
The bar chart illustrates the number of employees in five different sectors, namely sales, accounting, computing, nursing, and farming—namely sales, accounting, computing, nursing and farming, in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Overall, sales had the largest workforce in both yearsover the period, while farming recorded the lowest number of employeessmallest figure. The number of workers in sales, computing and nursing rose, whereas accounting and farming saw declines in employee numbers. DeleteIn detail, the number of people working in salesthe sales sector increased from 155,000 to roughly 165,000 over the seven years. When it comes to computing and nursing, both sectors employed approximately 53,000 people in 2001. The former rose markedly to 75,000 in 2008, while the latter saw a slight increase to 55,000. In comparison, the accounting and farming sectors experienced falls. Their employee numbers dropped from around 65,00061,000 and about 27,00022,000 to 59,000 and 19,000 respectively.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response features excellent organization, precise vocabulary, and error-free sentence structures. However, a few data points are slightly inaccurate based on the chart's vertical scale, and the essay falls just short of the recommended length threshold. Focusing on precise visual data reading and adding one more analytical sentence will improve overall task fulfillment.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear overview and highlights main trends, though some specific numerical figures deviate slightly from the chart grid lines.
Double-check grid alignment to ensure specific data points, such as figures for accounting and farming, are as precise as possible.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically sequenced into distinct paragraphs with smooth transitions and accurate referencing throughout.
Maintain this effective paragraph structure while ensuring data comparisons remain seamlessly connected.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise range of vocabulary is used naturally to describe trends and comparisons.
Continue using flexible lexical choices, taking care that word forms accurately match sentence structures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is varied and consistently accurate across complex sentence structures.
Sustain this high level of grammatical accuracy while adding brief comparative structures to extend length.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
the chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.