The table below shows the total amount of road traffic in the London borough of Enfield for the years 2008 – 2015.
Sample Response
The table shows six categories of the total road traffic in the London borough of Enfield for the years 2008 to 2015. The totals are all given in thousands of vehicle miles.
Overall, it is evident that pedal cycles travelled the least and cars – the most.
The fewest road miles were completed by pedal cycles. There were 1542K miles completed in 2008 and this steadily rose to 1712K miles in 2011, before falling again to a low of 1017K miles in 2014. 2015 saw a rise again to 1360K miles. Motorcycles experienced a contrasting trend, miles dropping from 2008 to 2010 before rising again to 2014, followed by a small drop in 2015.
Light goods vehicles also showed a general trend, going down from 2008 with 110,150K miles to 87,397K miles in 2011 and then rising again to 115,311K miles in 2015.
Cars showed the highest miles completed, though there was no real trend, with numbers going up or down randomly in all years. The highest figure was 644,208K miles in 2011 and the lowest was 578,072K in 2012. Buses and coaches and heavy goods vehicle also showed no discernable trends.
The totals for all vehicles also showed no apparent trend with figures going up or down in following years. The year with the highest miles was 812,323K in 2011 and the lowest was 747,214K miles in 2012.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Describe categories accurately Original: six categories of the total road traffic Suggested revision: five vehicle categories and the overall total Why it matters: The table contains five vehicle types plus a separate total row.
- 2. Use precise noun Original: totals Suggested revision: figures Why it matters: Most entries are category figures rather than totals.
- 3. Complete the comparison Original: cars – the most Suggested revision: cars travelled the most Why it matters: The second part of the comparison needs its verb.
- 4. Remove misleading adverb Original: before falling again Suggested revision: before falling Why it matters: This is the first decline described, so “again” is inaccurate.
- 5. Correct the endpoint Original: 2010 Suggested revision: 2011 Why it matters: Motorcycle mileage continued falling through 2011, reaching 5,616 thousand miles.
- 6. Use concise trend language Original: going down from 2008 with Suggested revision: falling from Why it matters: This wording states the downward movement more directly and naturally.
- 7. Use correct collocation Original: the highest miles completed Suggested revision: the highest mileage Why it matters: Mileage, rather than miles completed, is the natural measure here.
- 8. Use plural category Original: vehicle Suggested revision: vehicles Why it matters: The table label refers to vehicles as a plural category.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: The totals for all vehicles also showed no apparent trend with figures going up or down in following years. Suggested revision: The total for all motor vehicles showed no clear trend, fluctuating from year to year. Why it matters: The revision removes repetition and expresses the fluctuation more cohesively.
- 10. Broaden the overview Suggested revision: Extend the overview to mention the fluctuating overall total, including its 2011 peak and 2012 low. Why it matters: The overview identifies the largest and smallest categories but omits the main pattern in total traffic.
Suggested Rewrites
- six categories of the total road traffic five vehicle categories and the overall total
- totals figures
- cars – the most cars travelled the most
- before falling again before falling
- 2010 2011
- going down from 2008 with falling from
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its clear organisation and accurate selection of most key figures, including the main highs and lows. Its principal limitation is that the overview is narrow and the motorcycle turning point is misstated, while buses, coaches and heavy goods vehicles receive little supporting detail. Prioritise a fuller overview and verify every trend against the table before writing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and well-selected figures cover most key features, though one motorcycle trend is inaccurate and two categories are only briefly treated.
Broaden the overview to include the overall fluctuation and support the least-developed categories with accurate comparative figures.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the overview through vehicle categories to the aggregate total, with effective paragraphing and cohesive links.
Make the grouping even more analytical by pairing categories with similar or contrasting patterns rather than treating some separately.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise for describing quantities and trends, with only occasional awkward or repetitive phrasing.
Replace vague expressions such as general trend and highest miles completed with more exact descriptions of movement and volume.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of sentence structures is handled accurately, and the few slips do not impede meaning.
Refine agreement and noun forms in phrases such as heavy goods vehicle and check compressed clauses for fully natural construction.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below shows the total amount of road traffic in the London borough of Enfield for the years 2008 – 2015.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.