The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000. Average distance in miles travelled per person per year, by mode of travel
Sample Response
The table data delineates how the vehicle preferences of British citizens changed over time by comparing the average distance an English travelled using different modes of carriers in 1985 and 2000.
Overall, cars were British citizens' primary mode of transportation and taxi was the least used mode of travel for them in the given time period. As the data suggests, an English travelled more than 6,400 miles on average in 2000 which was almost 36% higher than the distance travelled in 1985. Car use predominated this total travel as more than 4,800 miles out of 6,400 in 2000 were crossed using automobiles and a similar trend could be observed in 1985. The use of personal cars, in truth, increased over time. Reliance on buses was higher than on train and bicycle use. Despite an average of 255 miles walking by a Brit in 1985, it decreased after 15 years. Moreover, the taxi was perhaps the least preferred mode of commuting as only 13 miles were travelled by British using it in 1985, which, despite an increase in 2000, was below 50 miles. Train travel hiked in 2000 while distance travelled by British in local buses dropped. All other transportations contributed to 585 miles of travel by a Brit in 2000, an increase than that of 1985.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundant word Original: table data Suggested revision: table Why it matters: Table already refers to the displayed data.
- 2. Describe the measure accurately Original: vehicle preferences Suggested revision: travel patterns Why it matters: The table reports distances travelled, not personal preferences.
- 3. Correct nationality noun Original: average distance an English travelled Suggested revision: average distance an English person travelled Why it matters: English cannot function as a singular count noun for a person.
- 4. Use the standard term Original: carriers Suggested revision: transport Why it matters: Modes of transport is the natural term for the listed categories.
- 5. Correct number agreement Original: taxi was the least used mode of travel Suggested revision: taxis were the least-used mode of travel Why it matters: The transport category requires a plural noun and verb.
- 6. Use concise timeframe Original: given time period Suggested revision: period shown Why it matters: The replacement is more concise and directly refers to the table.
- 7. Correct subject wording Original: As the data suggests, an English travelled Suggested revision: The data show that an English person travelled Why it matters: Data takes a plural verb in formal usage, and English person is the correct noun phrase.
- 8. Add relative-clause comma Original: in 2000 which Suggested revision: in 2000, which Why it matters: The non-defining relative clause requires a preceding comma.
- 9. Use accurate share phrase Original: predominated this total travel Suggested revision: accounted for most of this total Why it matters: Accounted for correctly describes the car category's contribution to total mileage.
- 10. Use natural travel wording Original: were crossed using automobiles Suggested revision: were travelled by car Why it matters: Distances are travelled rather than crossed in this context.
- 11. Use direct past tense Original: a similar trend could be observed Suggested revision: a similar pattern was observed Why it matters: The direct past form is clearer for describing historical table data.
- 12. Remove unnecessary linker Original: in truth, Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This discourse marker adds no logical relationship to the factual report.
Suggested Rewrites
- table data table
- vehicle preferences travel patterns
- average distance an English travelled average distance an English person travelled
- carriers transport
- taxi was the least used mode of travel taxis were the least-used mode of travel
- given time period period shown
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s strongest feature is its accurate coverage of the dominant role of cars, the overall increase in distance travelled, and most category changes. Its main limitation is precision: several modes are discussed vaguely, bus types are conflated, and bicycle and long-distance-bus changes are not clearly quantified. Prioritise grouping rising and falling modes and supporting each comparison with the exact 1985 and 2000 figures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
A clear overview and accurate totals highlight the dominance of cars and the overall rise, while most individual changes are also identified.
Distinguish local from long-distance buses and add the omitted bicycle and long-distance-bus figures to complete the comparison.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report moves from overall patterns to individual modes, but almost all details occupy one paragraph and the ordering of categories is somewhat loose.
Group modes that increased separately from those that decreased, with the overview in its own paragraph.
Lexical Resource
A reasonably broad transport vocabulary is used, but frequent unnatural choices such as ‘modes of carriers’, ‘miles were crossed’, and ‘train travel hiked’ reduce precision.
Use standard statistical combinations such as ‘modes of transport’, ‘miles were travelled’, and ‘rail travel increased’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, though recurring article, nationality, comparative, and clause-construction errors remain noticeable.
Use ‘an English person’ or ‘a Briton’ consistently and review comparative forms such as ‘an increase from’ or ‘higher than’.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000. Average distance in miles travelled per person per year, by mode of travel
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.