The line graph below shows the population size, birth and death rate of England and Wales from 1700 to 2000.
Sample Response
The line graph gives data on the birth rate, death rate and total population of England and Wales over three centuriesover the span of three centuries, from 1700 to 2000. As a general trend, the population in England and Wales increased substantiallyoverwhelmingly during the 19th and 20th centuriesafter the 19th century and the death rate declined while the birth rate rose after 1950the birth rate after 1950 went upward. As the diagram suggests, the population of England and Wales at the beginning of the 18th century was only 3 million which went as high as 10 million in 50 years. Over the following 50 yearsDuring the next 50 years, the population noticeably declined and fellreached to just over 3 million again at the beginning of the 19th century. However, a rapid population growth could be observed and it soared in the following centuries before reaching to 50 million in 2000. The birth rate, measured as births per 1,000 people,The birth rate, childbirth per 1000 people, in England and Wales was 30 in 1700in the year 1700, and it rose to 40which grew to 40 after 50 years. The death rate, measured as deaths per 1,000 people,The death rate, number of mortality per 1000 people, followed a similar trend and reached almost 38reached to almost 38 in 1750. Afterwards, both the birth and death rates generally declinedsank steadily and fellreached to just over 20 in 1950 with some fluctuations in the preceding decades. After that, the birth rate sharply increased and skyrocketed while the death rate stabilized. In 2000, the birth rate in England and Walesthe UK and Wales was as high as 34 while the death rate was 20.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response gives a clear overview and accurately traces the major population, birth-rate, and death-rate movements across the period, supported by well-selected figures. The main limitation is occasional imprecision in describing changes and measures, including the claim that both rates fell steadily and several unnatural statistical expressions. Prioritise more exact trend language and accurate collocations for rates, population changes, and units.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main trends and turning points are accurately selected and well supported, with only minor overstatement of how steadily the two rates declined.
Distinguish the long flat periods from actual falls and refer consistently to England and Wales rather than 'the UK and Wales.'
Coherence and Cohesion
The information follows a clear chronological progression from population change to the two rates, and referencing and linking are generally effective.
Use separate paragraphs for the population series and the birth-and-death-rate comparison to make the structure more immediately visible.
Lexical Resource
A good range of trend vocabulary conveys the data clearly, though several choices such as 'increased overwhelmingly' and 'number of mortality' are unnatural.
Prefer precise statistical phrases such as 'rose sharply,' 'deaths per 1,000 people,' and 'reached' without the preposition 'to.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex sentences are generally well controlled, but repeated preposition errors and a few awkward noun constructions remain noticeable.
Correct recurring forms such as 'reached 50 million' and revise definitions so each rate is expressed in a complete, grammatical clause.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The line graph below shows the population size, birth and death rate of England and Wales from 1700 to 2000.
Your response
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