The average prices per kilometre of clothing imported into the European Union from six different countries in 1993 and 2003 are shown in the bar chart below.
Sample Response
The given bar chart illustrates the prices per kilometre of goods which is being brought by six different countries in 1993 and 2003.
Overall, it is clearly seen that Argentina had the highest prices per kilometre in clothing in 1993 as compared to Bangladesh. Whereas, in 2003, japan had low prices as compared to other countries.
In 1993, only Argentina and Brazil had high prices ( appropriately 28 and 23 pounds) respectively. Whereas, there has been a decrease in the prices in countries Japan, China and India ( 15, 10 and 7 pounds) respectively. In addition, Bangladesh has the lowest amongst all the countries at approximately 3 pounds.
In 2003, there was an upsurge in the prices in all countries except Bangladesh, which has only 7 pounds. However, Japan and India have about 12 and 14 pounds respectively. Furthermore, Argentina, Brazil and China have increased by (26, 23 and 17 pounds) respectively.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name measure accurately Original: prices per kilometre of goods Suggested revision: average prices per kilometre of clothing Why it matters: The chart specifically measures imported clothing rather than goods generally.
- 2. Use correct passive Original: which is being brought Suggested revision: imported into the European Union Why it matters: The chart concerns clothing imported into the EU, and goods is plural.
- 3. Fix source preposition Original: by Suggested revision: from Why it matters: The clothing came from the six named exporting countries.
- 4. Use concise reporting Original: it is clearly seen that Suggested revision: the chart shows that Why it matters: The replacement is more direct and natural for reporting visual data.
- 5. Fix measure phrase Original: prices per kilometre in clothing Suggested revision: price per kilometre of clothing Why it matters: Of correctly links the measured price to clothing.
- 6. State both extremes Original: as compared to Bangladesh Suggested revision: while Bangladesh had the lowest Why it matters: The chart shows Argentina and Bangladesh at the two extremes in 1993.
- 7. Describe ranking precisely Original: only Argentina and Brazil had high prices Suggested revision: Argentina and Brazil had the highest prices Why it matters: Highest accurately expresses their rank without using the vague label high.
- 8. Use approximation term Original: appropriately Suggested revision: approximately Why it matters: Approximately means close to the stated figures; appropriately does not.
- 9. Keep past tense Original: has Suggested revision: had Why it matters: The paragraph reports data from 1993, so the verb should be past tense.
- 10. Clarify lowest measure Original: the lowest amongst all the countries Suggested revision: the lowest price among all six countries Why it matters: The revised phrase names the measured feature and uses a concise comparison.
- 11. Correct values and tense Original: Japan and India have about 12 and 14 pounds Suggested revision: Japan and India were about £13 and £12 Why it matters: The 2003 bars show roughly £13 for Japan and £12 for India.
- 12. Report values accurately Original: have increased by Suggested revision: were priced at Why it matters: The following numbers are 2003 prices, not amounts of increase.
Suggested Rewrites
- prices per kilometre of goods average prices per kilometre of clothing
- which is being brought imported into the European Union
- by from
- it is clearly seen that the chart shows that
- prices per kilometre in clothing price per kilometre of clothing
- as compared to Bangladesh while Bangladesh had the lowest
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response provides a clear four-paragraph structure and reports many individual bar values with reasonable accuracy. Its main weakness is the description of change: it incorrectly claims that almost all countries experienced an increase and overlooks that Argentina and Japan fell, Brazil was stable, and Bangladesh still rose. Prioritise a factually accurate overview of these mixed trends, then compare the two years directly for each country using consistent past-tense structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Many approximate values are included, but the overview and statements about increases and decreases misrepresent the chart's principal trends.
State that China, India, and Bangladesh rose, Argentina and Japan fell, and Brazil remained unchanged, then support these trends with paired figures.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a recognisable introduction-overview-details structure, but sentence fragments beginning with 'Whereas' and mechanical connectors disrupt the flow.
Use complete comparative sentences and organise the details by countries that rose, fell, or stayed stable.
Lexical Resource
The response uses some relevant trend vocabulary, but frequent imprecision and word-choice errors such as 'appropriately' and 'goods ... brought by countries' weaken accuracy.
Use exact expressions such as 'approximately,' 'clothing imported from,' 'rose to,' and 'fell from.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is usually clear, but tense shifts, fragments, article errors, capitalisation, and faulty comparative structures occur frequently.
Maintain the past tense throughout and combine contrast clauses into complete sentences with accurate subjects and verbs.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The average prices per kilometre of clothing imported into the European Union from six different countries in 1993 and 2003 are shown in the bar chart below.
Your response
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