The average prices per kilometre of clothing imported into the European Union from six different countries in 1993 and 2003 are shown in the bar chart below.
Sample Response
The bar graph illustrates the average price per kilometre of clothing imported to the European Union from six varied nations, namely Argentina, Brazil, Japan, China, India, and Bangladesh. The years under consideration is 1993 and 2003. Besides, the price unit was considered in pounds.
Overall, the top-most export clothing nation is Argentina in both of the years, whereas Bangladesh is with the least price in both years. Furthermore, Brazil had the same price from a decade onwards without any fluctuations or a plunge.
To commence with, Argentina was the highest export price costing about approximately above 25 pounds in the year 1993. Besides, there was a slight decline in the year 2003 with just above 25 pounds nearly 26 pounds. Meanwhile, Brazil had a similar price in both years, and there are no changes in a decade which was nearly 23 pounds.
Conversely, Japan is exporting with the price of 15 pounds to European Union in the year of 1993, whereas, slightly decline in the year of 2003 with almost 2 pounds less. On the other hand, China and India are selling price with 10 pounds and just above 5 pounds in the year 1993. With the advancement in the market, there is a climb in 2003 for both of the nations with approximately 16 pounds in china and 12 pounds in India. Last but not least, Bangladesh is the least price exporting their clothing with nearly 3 pounds in 1993 and 6 pounds in 2003.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use correct preposition Original: to Suggested revision: into Why it matters: Imported into is the standard collocation for goods entering a region.
- 2. Use chart terminology Original: six varied nations Suggested revision: six countries Why it matters: Countries is the precise and natural label for the six sources shown.
- 3. Fix subject agreement Original: is Suggested revision: are Why it matters: The plural subject years requires the plural verb are.
- 4. Remove loose connector Original: Besides, the price unit Suggested revision: The price unit Why it matters: The connector does not express a clear logical relationship here.
- 5. State units naturally Original: was considered in pounds Suggested revision: is given in pounds Why it matters: Figures on a chart are conventionally described as being given in a unit.
- 6. Describe price accurately Original: the top-most export clothing nation is Argentina Suggested revision: the highest clothing price was for Argentina Why it matters: The chart compares import prices by source country rather than ranking clothing-export nations.
- 7. Remove unnecessary words Original: both of the years Suggested revision: both years Why it matters: The prepositional phrase is unnecessary in this time expression.
- 8. Use natural price phrase Original: Bangladesh is with the least price Suggested revision: Bangladesh had the lowest price Why it matters: The revision uses the correct collocation and past tense for the historical figures.
- 9. Avoid unsupported continuity Original: from a decade onwards without any fluctuations or a plunge Suggested revision: in both years Why it matters: The chart shows equal values at two points and provides no evidence about fluctuations between them.
- 10. Introduce the category clearly Original: To commence with Suggested revision: Turning to Argentina Why it matters: The revised transition identifies the country being discussed.
- 11. Fix price phrasing Original: the highest export price costing Suggested revision: the highest price, at Why it matters: A country or category has a price; the price itself does not cost an amount.
- 12. Give one accurate estimate Original: about approximately above 25 pounds Suggested revision: about £28 Why it matters: The 1993 bar for Argentina is close to £28, and the original stacks contradictory approximators.
Suggested Rewrites
- to into
- six varied nations six countries
- is are
- Besides, the price unit The price unit
- was considered in pounds is given in pounds
- the top-most export clothing nation is Argentina the highest clothing price was for Argentina
Why this response received Band 6.5
The report covers all six countries, provides a clear overview, and generally represents the trends and relative values accurately. Its main limitation is frequent awkward grammar and imprecise collocation, which sometimes obscures otherwise sound comparisons. The highest priority is to describe prices with direct past-tense structures and exact subjects, avoiding phrases such as export clothing nation and selling price with.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview correctly identifies the highest and lowest countries and Brazil's stability, while the body covers every country with mostly accurate values.
Report Argentina's 1993 figure and India's starting value more precisely, and avoid redundant approximations such as about approximately above.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and country grouping provide clear overall progression, although some linking expressions are mechanical or illogical.
Choose connectors for their exact relationship and rely more on direct comparisons instead of repeatedly signalling each new country.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate range for describing change and stability, but frequent inaccurate collocations make the account sound unnatural.
Use standard chart language such as clothing prices, remained unchanged, fell to, and rose from rather than improvised export phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex sentences, but frequent agreement, tense, article, and clause-formation errors weaken accuracy throughout.
Use consistent past-tense subject-verb patterns, for example Japan's price fell from 15 pounds to 13 pounds.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The average prices per kilometre of clothing imported into the European Union from six different countries in 1993 and 2003 are shown in the bar chart below.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.