The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000. [Figure: Transportation used in Percentages.]
Sample Response
The column graph represents information on travellers’ commuting preference to reach office and return home in a European city in three different years- 1960, 1980 and 2000. overall, the car gained its popularity and the number of people who used to walk gradually decreased. In 1960, almost 20 percent people used buses to and from workplaces and this percentage grew to almost 28% after 20 years. In 2000, bus users fell to less than 20%. On the contrary, in the case of private cars, the users were only about 7% in 1960, which was the lowest among the 4 categories, and this increased sharply in 1980 amounting 25%, and in 2000, more than 38%, making it the most used form of the transportation system. Besides, more than 27% people used bikes in 1960 and in 1980 the number decreased by 5% but in 2000 it dramatically fell to somewhat 7%. Finally, 35% people used to walk to go to work and to return from there. But this foot-walkers' number declined significantly in the 80s and in 2000 one out of ten office goers walked. To summarise, more people used to walk to travel to and from workplaces in 1960 but with the popularity of private cars, this ratio declined.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural noun Original: travellers’ commuting preference Suggested revision: travellers’ commuting preferences Why it matters: The plural possessive subject requires the countable noun to be plural here.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: reach office Suggested revision: travel to work Why it matters: This is the natural expression for commuting rather than arriving at an unspecified office.
- 3. Fix list punctuation Original: years- Suggested revision: years: Why it matters: A colon correctly introduces the list of three years.
- 4. Capitalize sentence start Original: overall Suggested revision: Overall Why it matters: The first word of a new sentence must begin with a capital letter.
- 5. Remove wrong determiner Original: gained its popularity Suggested revision: gained popularity Why it matters: The fixed collocation is “gain popularity” without a possessive determiner.
- 6. Add partitive preposition Original: 20 percent people Suggested revision: 20 percent of people Why it matters: A percentage followed by a noun requires “of” in this construction.
- 7. Use contrast linker Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: “By contrast” compares trends, whereas “on the contrary” normally rejects a preceding claim.
- 8. Name the measure Original: the users Suggested revision: the proportion of users Why it matters: The chart reports percentages, so this wording identifies the measured quantity precisely.
- 9. Name chart groups Original: among the 4 categories Suggested revision: of the four modes Why it matters: “Modes” is the precise term for the four forms of transport shown.
- 10. Use correct verb form Original: amounting 25% Suggested revision: reaching 25% Why it matters: “Amounting” requires “to,” while “reaching” fits directly before the percentage.
- 11. Avoid category mismatch Original: the transportation system Suggested revision: transport Why it matters: A car is a mode of transport, not an entire transportation system.
- 12. Add missing of Original: 27% people Suggested revision: 27% of people Why it matters: The percentage needs “of” before the noun phrase.
Suggested Rewrites
- travellers’ commuting preference travellers’ commuting preferences
- reach office travel to work
- years- years:
- overall Overall
- gained its popularity gained popularity
- 20 percent people 20 percent of people
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response selects nearly all major figures and clearly conveys the rise of car use alongside the decline in walking, with comparisons that are mostly accurate. Its main weakness is presentation: the report is one long paragraph and contains recurring awkward or inaccurate phrasing. The highest-priority improvement is to group the categories into clear comparative paragraphs while using more natural data-reporting structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
A clear overview and broad coverage of all four modes are supported by mostly accurate figures, although a few values are slightly overstated.
Make the overview more complete by noting both declining active modes and the bus fluctuation, and report exact values where the chart permits.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information progresses logically by transport mode, but the single-paragraph format weakens the grouping of comparisons and some linking is mechanical.
Use separate overview and detail paragraphs, grouping car with walking and bus with cycling to highlight contrasting trends.
Lexical Resource
The response uses an adequate range of transport and trend vocabulary, but several collocations such as reach office and foot-walkers are unnatural.
Prefer precise, natural phrases such as commute to work, car users, and people travelling on foot.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the data clearly, though article, preposition, punctuation, and noun-phrase errors recur.
Proofread quantifier and article patterns, especially constructions such as percent of people and amounting to 25%.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000. [Figure: Transportation used in Percentages.]
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.