The figure shows the results of a survey of 1000 adolescents in five different countries. The participants were asked at what age they believed certain rights and responsibilities should be granted to young people.
Sample Response
The provided column graph summarises the results of a surveyresult of a study and indicates what people in five different countries considerthink to be the appropriate age for gainingappropriate age to be allowed to have certain rights and responsibilities. Generally speaking, citizens’ opinionsopinion regarding the appropriateright age for marriage, voting and criminal responsibilityprosecution for crime vary greatlygreatly varies. As is given in the illustration, people in Japan and the UK opine that they should not marry until they are at least 20 years old while Americans believe that this age should be exactly 18. By contrastOn the contrary, Mexicans and Egyptians believeagreed that they should be allowed to get married at age 16just after they cross 15. In terms of the right to votevoting power, Japanese respondents stateJapanese state that 20 years is the right age for them while Americans and Egyptians sayexpress it should be 18. Both British and Mexicans want their voting right at age 16at 16 years, on the contrary.
Finally, American people give their opinion that someone should be charged by the law for committing any crime when they become 12 years old. Japanese seems like have a different opinion as they believe that someone should not be imposed with criminal offence until they turn 18 years. Survey participants in other three countries expressed that before 14 they should not be punished by law for any misdeed.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response covers all three surveyed rights and responsibilities and gives mostly accurate country comparisons in a clear category-by-category sequence. The overview is too general, however, and the criminal-responsibility comparison obscures the difference between Egypt at about 14 and the UK and Mexico at about 15; awkward grammar and collocation also recur. The priority is to state the main highest and lowest patterns explicitly and report each value precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All categories are addressed with mostly accurate comparisons, but the overview lacks specific key patterns and the final criminal-responsibility comparison is imprecise.
Highlight Japan's consistently higher ages and the USA's notably low criminal-responsibility age, then distinguish the approximate 14- and 15-year figures.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report is organised coherently by marriage, voting, and criminal responsibility, although some contrast markers are repetitive or awkwardly positioned.
Use one clear contrast within each category and avoid placing 'on the contrary' at the end of a sentence.
Lexical Resource
There is a good attempt at varied vocabulary, but expressions such as 'voting power', 'imposed with criminal offence', and 'charged by the law' are not natural.
Use precise terms such as 'voting rights', 'age of criminal responsibility', and 'tried in court'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a mix of simple and complex structures, but agreement, article, pronoun, and clause-construction errors occur noticeably.
Review subject-verb agreement and complete clause patterns, particularly in sentences beginning with country groups or nationalities.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The figure shows the results of a survey of 1000 adolescents in five different countries. The participants were asked at what age they believed certain rights and responsibilities should be granted to young people.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.