The graph presents percentages of commuters using different modes of transports in London in the years 1960, 1980, 2000 and 2010. Commuter Transport in London
Sample Response
The column graph compares the percentages of Londoners who used trains, cars, tubes and buses in four different years. Overall, the use of private cars increased rapidly while the popularity of public buses dropped sharply. As can be seen, roughly 7% commuters used private cars in London in 1960. In this year the highest percentages of commuters in London used buses and tubes, approximately 35% and 27% respectively. Train users in this year comprised around 17% of total passengers. After 20 years, the percentages of car users dramatically increased and one out of five Londoners used this mean of transport. Trains, buses and tubes received similar percentages of travellers in 1980 which ranged from 23% to 26%. However, the ratio of these transport users in 2000 changed noticeably. Every passenger out of three used their cars while one out of four used tubes for their movements. The popularity of the train somewhat decreased while the ratio of bus commuters dropped sharply to only 15%. In 2010, around half of the Londoners used cars as they primary mean of communication while less than 15% used public cars. The popularity of tubes and trains slightly dropped in this year as well.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add partitive preposition Original: roughly 7% commuters Suggested revision: roughly 7% of commuters Why it matters: A percentage followed by a noun requires of in this construction.
- 2. Use concise reference Original: In this year Suggested revision: That year Why it matters: That year refers back to 1960 more naturally and concisely.
- 3. Fix percentage structure Original: the highest percentages of commuters in London used Suggested revision: the highest percentages of London commuters travelled by Why it matters: The revised structure grammatically links the percentages to the transport modes.
- 4. Use commuter term Original: Train users Suggested revision: Train commuters Why it matters: Commuters matches the population measured in the chart more precisely than users.
- 5. Match chart population Original: total passengers Suggested revision: all commuters Why it matters: The graph reports London commuters rather than all transport passengers.
- 6. Fix number and order Original: the percentages of car users dramatically increased Suggested revision: the percentage of car users increased dramatically Why it matters: Percentage is singular here, and the adverb fits more naturally after the verb.
- 7. Use correct noun form Original: this mean of transport Suggested revision: this means of transport Why it matters: Means is the correct singular form in this fixed expression.
- 8. Describe proportions accurately Original: received similar percentages of travellers Suggested revision: accounted for similar percentages of commuters Why it matters: Transport modes account for shares; they do not receive travellers' percentages.
- 9. Clarify reference Original: which ranged Suggested revision: with figures ranging Why it matters: The replacement makes clear that the percentages, not the travellers, ranged between the values.
- 10. Use proportion term Original: the ratio of these transport users Suggested revision: the proportions using these modes Why it matters: Proportions accurately describes the percentage distribution among transport modes.
- 11. Fix fraction expression Original: Every passenger out of three Suggested revision: One in three commuters Why it matters: One in three is the standard expression for this fraction of commuters.
- 12. Use natural transport phrase Original: used tubes for their movements Suggested revision: travelled by Tube Why it matters: Travelled by Tube is the natural way to describe this commuting mode.
Suggested Rewrites
- roughly 7% commuters roughly 7% of commuters
- In this year That year
- the highest percentages of commuters in London used the highest percentages of London commuters travelled by
- Train users Train commuters
- total passengers all commuters
- the percentages of car users dramatically increased the percentage of car users increased dramatically
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response's clearest strength is its accurate chronological account of the broad rise in car use and fall in bus use, with most supporting figures reasonably approximated. The main limitations are occasional imprecise labels and formulations, especially 'public cars,' plus the absence of paragraph breaks; prioritise precise transport terms and group the overview and detail stages into distinct paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The overview identifies the two dominant trends and the response covers all modes and years with largely accurate approximate figures.
Label each mode precisely, particularly buses in 2010, and make the approximate 1980 and 2000 car values more faithful to the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion
The chronological progression is easy to follow and comparisons are well connected, but presenting everything in one paragraph weakens organisation.
Use a separate overview paragraph and divide the detailed figures into two coherent time-based groups.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for trends and comparisons, but several collocations are awkward or inaccurate, including 'received percentages,' 'mean of communication,' and 'public cars.'
Use established transport-chart collocations such as proportion of commuters, mode of transport, car use, and bus use.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied simple and complex structures, while recurring errors with articles, plurals, prepositions, and possessives remain noticeable.
Proofread agreement and determiner forms in phrases such as '7% of commuters,' 'this means of transport,' and 'their primary means.'
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph presents percentages of commuters using different modes of transports in London in the years 1960, 1980, 2000 and 2010. Commuter Transport in London
Your response
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