The graph presents percentages of commuters using different modes of transports in London in the years 1960, 1980, 2000 and 2010.
Sample Response
The column graph compares the percentages of Londoners who used trains, cars, tubes and buses in four different years. Overall, the use of private cars increased rapidly while the popularity of public buses dropped sharply. As can be seen, roughly 7% of commutersroughly 7% commuters used private cars in London in 1960. That yearIn this year the highest percentages of London commuters travelled bythe highest percentages of commuters in London used buses and tubes, approximately 35% and 27% respectively. Train commutersusers in this year comprised around 17% of all commuterstotal passengers. After 20 years, the percentage of car users increased dramaticallythe percentages of car users dramatically increased and one out of five Londoners used this meansmean of transport. Trains, buses and tubes accounted for similar percentages of commutersreceived similar percentages of travellers in 1980 with figures rangingwhich ranged from 23% to 26%. However, the proportions using these modesthe ratio of these transport users in 2000 changed noticeably. One in three commutersEvery passenger out of three used their cars while one out of four travelled by Tubeused tubes for their movements. The popularity of the train somewhat decreased while the proportionratio of bus commuters dropped sharply to only 15%. In 2010, around half of the Londoners used cars as they primary mean of communication while less than 15% used public cars. The popularity of tubes and trains slightly dropped that year as wellin this year as well.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response's clearest strength is its accurate chronological account of the broad rise in car use and fall in bus use, with most supporting figures reasonably approximated. The main limitations are occasional imprecise labels and formulations, especially 'public cars,' plus the absence of paragraph breaks; prioritise precise transport terms and group the overview and detail stages into distinct paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview identifies the two dominant trends and the response covers all modes and years with largely accurate approximate figures.
Label each mode precisely, particularly buses in 2010, and make the approximate 1980 and 2000 car values more faithful to the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion
The chronological progression is easy to follow and comparisons are well connected, but presenting everything in one paragraph weakens organisation.
Use a separate overview paragraph and divide the detailed figures into two coherent time-based groups.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for trends and comparisons, but several collocations are awkward or inaccurate, including 'received percentages,' 'mean of communication,' and 'public cars.'
Use established transport-chart collocations such as proportion of commuters, mode of transport, car use, and bus use.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied simple and complex structures, while recurring errors with articles, plurals, prepositions, and possessives remain noticeable.
Proofread agreement and determiner forms in phrases such as '7% of commuters,' 'this means of transport,' and 'their primary means.'
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph presents percentages of commuters using different modes of transports in London in the years 1960, 1980, 2000 and 2010.
Your response
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